dEAr diary ~ reappraisal…the next steps

As you might have realised by the sudden gap in transmission we are now back home in Yorkshire and I am back at work.

Back at work wondering why on earth I didn’t put my final day to leave work as June 30th when I handed in my notice – so now I am stuck with 31st July (I gave them two months notice) and to be honest this was a mistake.  The break from work for our two-week holiday has meant it has been so hard to return to fulfil these remaining days of which I have now only 7 to go (not that I am counting), but it suddenly seems an eternity.

It is a bit scary leaving but now I just want to get it done.


Start my new life…whatever shape that will be.

Today is my first day off this week.  We arrived back quite late last Sunday, unloaded the car, watered our devastated and thirsty garden with endless watering cans of water (as we didn’t know if a hose pipe ban was in place) then fell into bed.

So now my home looks like it has had an attack of some kind with the contents of all the bags from our holiday dispersed around the rooms waiting for some action.  So my task for today will be to CLEAR IT ALL UP.

I have washing to sort, unpacking to finish, menus to plan and a shopping list to write.  I actually feel a bit disoriented and exhausted.  Maybe that is just age, maybe just me but somehow as they say my get up and go has got up and gone.

I have a new follower, Cathy from Still Waters – welcome Cathy.  I noticed her most recent post was about insomnia.  I can relate to this –  I did not sleep well the last three nights and it was not the heat but the pressures of work, or should I say the pressures of leaving work.  There is still much unrest in the office – speculation as to where the new directors are taking us, the new imposed restrictions, the never-ending meeting and setting targets to bring in more money.  It is all about more money – never about client satisfaction and care or even the employees satisfaction and care.  I can’t continue to work in that world.  So I won’t be.

Well I don’t wish to moan anymore I just have to sit out my last seven days over the next three weeks – my replacement starts on Monday – and then I can turn my focus to my new life.

What am I going to do with my new life?  It is a bit like having a blank page or the start of a new year.  I need a plan.

But that will be another post another day – I have to get moving on the tidying and shopping.

Quick update – whilst out shopping this afternoon I picked up a few things in Sainsbury’s – the rope coil basket was £6 and will be useful to keep our laptop chargers and cables in, the gardening gloves are reduced to £2.25 and are great for gardening – I had a pair recently at the cottage so I have bought 2 more.

Lastly, I got a copy of Mollie Makes – I hope it is the right edition –  No 94 as it should have the feature in of Gillian’s home from the blog ‘Tales from a happy house.’

Back soon x

14 Replies to “dEAr diary ~ reappraisal…the next steps”

  1. Knowing the end of work is in sight can be worse than not knowing as it seems so near but yet so far and getting involved in tasks for the future seem pointless because you won’t be there when plans are out into action. I can so relate to how you feel looking at your home after everything is left to be sorted another day. We used to do that when we returned late from a camping trip but now we just crack on no matter what the time and get everything put away or at least ready for the wash etc, so much easier in the long run than getting up the next day to face the chaos.


    1. You are so right and normally we would come back on the Saturday evening so we have all day Sunday to get straight or if it is just a long weekend visit with less stuff we do it as soon as we get home. This time we were so tired by the long journey – lots of slow queues on the motorway and all that watering when we got home we had to leave the unpacking for another day!
      It is like doing the clearing up after a party!


  2. I hate the clearing and sorting after a holiday. Once it is done though life can get back to normal. I think you have made the right decision for you about retiring. The new ethos of the company clearly is not for you. Stay positive and look forward to all the new opportunities in your life. You won’t regret it!


  3. It must be an exciting, yet unsettling time for you. You have so much to look forward to, although I imagine it will take a little time to adjust.
    We had the smallest shower of rain last night and nowhere near enough to give the gardens a good water.
    I think perhaps the heat is getting to everyone now. I have felt particularly tired and sluggish this week and it doesn’t usually affect me.
    Take your time in sorting out the holiday aftermath, it won’t be going anywhere. X


    1. Still quite a bit of washing to do but all the clean unworn clothes now put away – as usual I took far too much but with English weather you have to pack for any eventuality!
      We now have the fridge filled again too – so all getting back to normal.


  4. Welcome home.
    I would say don’t be in too much of a hurry to bung new things into your life. Believe me, it will fill up soon enough and I’m guessing you will want to give yourself room to breathe, stretch and grow.
    A shame about those last days but there will probably be a sense of detachment that will help you through them. Good luck with them and remember the bottle of bubbly for the evening of that last day! xxx


  5. All the mixed emotions you are feeling are normal. But the telling line in your post is “I can’t continue to work in that world.” It is exactly how I felt about leaving my work. Six months post-retirement, I can only say that I am very happy I left. They did not bring on anyone to replace me until two months after I left-even though I had to give three months notice of retirement, so I tried to leave as many detailed instructions and other guidance as I could for those left behind (no mean feat). Almost all the colleagues my age have now also left. A telling sign.

    Based on my own experience, I suggest you have a “loose” plan in mind for the initial period after leaving work–one that will allow you to easily make adaptations as needed. Give yourself time to adjust before making commitments to others (even family) and spend some time just “being”. Take some time every day for reading, reflecting, working in the garden and house, painting, writing–whatever suits you best–whatever you like best. This period can help you sort out the myriad of feelings you have about work (e.g. anger, loss–a kind of bereavement) which will allow you to move on and reset your vision for your future (e.g. possibilities, freedom).

    Make sure to take care of yourself in throughout this process. Be kind to and not critical of yourself. Looking forward to hearing about your new life opportunities. Will be cheering you on from over the Pond. xo


    1. Gosh Mary I certainly need you as my Life coach – are you for hire! Everything you say makes perfect sense – I will keep coming back to you comment to remind me.
      Thank you so much for taking the time to make some much appreciated suggestions.
      You will be able to follow along on my blog and know if I am heeding your words and put me back on course if I start to veer off. x


  6. Eleven years since I left paid employment and it has been the best job ever. The pay is zero and the work schedule is self set. I do voluntary work in an upcycling project mainly crafting and sewing, I am a member of some groups and in May this year we bought our first motorhome after 35 years of caravanning. When my Mother was dying, she and I had many conversations about life after death and the most profound thing she said to me was to make sure we had plenty of life before death. Don’t stress about these last days of paid employment-your replacement starts soon and make sure it’s a clean break when you leave. I did this, it was hard, but I coulld not promote the policies I was being asked to deliver any longer. Looking forward to going with you on your new journey.


    1. Hi Catriona. Almost missed your comment as it ended up in my spam box but I have retreived you now.
      Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment and leave good advice too. Your mother said some very wise words. I am at that stage now like waiting for a dentist appointment when you just want it to come to get it over with and then start to enjoy a period of no pain! I hope you will stay on the journey with me – I think I am going to need a lot of help to sort myself out!


  7. Following on from what Mary said and your most recent post about your daughter’s home, take a few moments to jot down things you’d like to change, spruce up or clear in your own home and garden.
    I’m sure that you will find plenty to keep you occupied for the next 6 months.( Do’t forget the C word either!)
    Lastly don’t foget my OH’s phrase “I’m having a gap year”, to protect yourself from taking anything on until YOU are ready to do so.
    It’s a lovely time of year to retire; everyone is on holiday.


    1. I will jot that down in my notes too about the gap year – that is a good one. You have been very helpful with advice I am taking it all on board. The last time I left a job for any length of time was to have my two girls but even then I did a lot of freelance design work.
      I can’t say how much I appreciate having so much encouragement along the way. x


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