dear diary :: worn out

Needless to say the intentions I intended yesterday did not happen. The engineer came just after lunch – was a lovely man – very knowledgeable – located and fixed the problem in no time – and best of all it was only a small fault – charged £38 and no call out fee – I could have hugged him! If anyone lives in the West Yorkshire area the company that we used are here called Advanced Domestic Appliance Services in Wakefield – I can highly recommend them.

For the rest of the day I was too worn out to do very much – the events of the last few weeks have taken their toll and I ended up having an afternoon nap for an hour to make up for my nights of interupted sleep. When I am stressed I suffer with night terrors – badly – they wake DH up too. I have not as yet lept out of the window like some sufferers. It is a fault with the primal limbic brain not switching off and prevents deep sleep too.

I am finding it difficult to let go of the constant worry – it floods into my mind as soon as I wake up in the morning and niggles away all day. Like my friend’s neighbour, who always referred to her grandchild as ‘that baby’ (we never discovered what sex it was), we are tending to refer to our disasterous day of drama and crisis as ‘that day’. Life is now classified by the terms before ‘that day’ and after ‘that day’ just like BC and AD is used to place an event on a timeline.

We did go to Sainsbury’s for the shopping though, spent more than we had allowed for but managed to stay in the black – just. There are only 2 more days of August thank goodness – so two no spend days are in order. The £80 bill included multiple buys of some of the more expensive items we use that were on offer, toothpaste, muesli, large pack butter, lightbulbs – it made sense to buy them with such large savings. I think. I noticed the fresh veg and fruit is really rising in price and we bought quite a bit so we can make and freeze soup. There was an extra 5p on bread this week too.

Whilst in town we went to the library to return the children’s books I took out for Little L. We can park at the smaller town centre Sainsbury’s for two hours if you spend £5. In my mind it is better to pay £5 for the parking and come away with some groceries than pay £1 an hour in the other car parks and come away with nothing.

I had a good browse in the Library and decided on this little stack. I don’t know why I prefer non-fiction to fiction – I suppose I like to learn things. DH had the Look and Learn magazine when he was little and is like a walking Google having retained a lot of information from an early age. All I read was Bunty! But I loved it and cracked the code before joining the club to get the badge, which I still have.

I started on this book called ‘The Life of Stuff’ by Susannah Walker. I worry about how captivated I become reading about other people’s stuff or reading decluttering books by the dozen – is that normal? Anyway I couldn’t put it down…….. so adding to my sleep deprivation…ah well perhaps an early night tonight.

So today we really are going to start on the pantry and I will try out the washer too – it is a good windy day and great for drying towels and making them super soft.

First we have to empty the old cloakroom and find somewhere to store the stuff that we mean to keep in the pantry when it is finished and get rid or find new homes for the items that will not be going back in there.

I find this kind of decluttering in a dumping ground hard. It is usually full of stuff that does not have a proper home – oddments, large bulky things, items that cannot be kept in the loft or garage as the extremes of temperature would affect it, or purchases that have been bought ready for some time in the future – like the shower unit we bought to install at the cottage (somehow I don’t think it will be needed very soon as that is another project on the shelf at the moment!).

So what am I waiting for – better go and get on with it because today I usually go round to my neighbours in the afternoon for a catch up chat and a cuppa.

Welcome to my new followers – just to say if you have only just joined in the reading of my blog this is a kind of bleak period in my life so do forgive my little moans – I am usually a happy little soul. x

8 Replies to “dear diary :: worn out”

  1. blimey. I’ve had so much to catch up on. I’m sorry I’ve been a bad blogger reader over summer, my excuses are many: blogging tends to go quiet in summer, Violet home, visiting my parents after my dads amputation and helping them find their new normal. But I am sorry. I should have been here to sent you virtual support and I wasn’t.

    The dog in the park thing made my blood boil. I’m with you, I have a dog story from childhood that put me off dogs completely, though looking back I put the fault squarely at the owners rather than the dog. But. it fixes you a certain way and makes you want to avoid dogs.
    We live with a park behind us, but I rarely go on it. Dogs being the reason. People are entitled to let dogs off the lead, but some of them are such morons that they make you feel unsafe. The amount of times I’m in the back garden and I hear someone bellowing a dogs name over and over, while the dog ignores them. If they were attacking a child, then calling the dog angrily wouldn’t stop them would it? Because clearly, the dog doesn’t pay attention. I hear that sort of thing a lot, and it worries me so much. I am fuming on your behalf over the selfish dog owner. Dog friendly park, fine, but if they are so pig headed like that, they should be banned from it, especially if they are known trouble makers. Makes me spit.

    Take care of yourself, it’s good to see you blogging. Here’s hoping for a good turn of luck for all of us. xx


    1. Thanks Sadie – lovely to hear from you – I have been reading along with yours when I can and glad you have had a great summer with Violet and the benefit of a free Ed Sheeran concert! Don’t worry about not having been over here to read my news – it is just nice to hear from you now and again – everyone has there own problems – I sometimes miss bloggers news when I get busy.
      I am not sure why the dog problem is escalating – the NHS have reported an 85% increase in attacks and bites over the years so it is not just me noticing a difference. Unfortunately as the dog population increases the dog poo does too and that affects everyone even other conscientious dog owners.
      Sorry to hear about your dad – I missed the post you put up and took down but for some reason I had guessed an amputation was the reason. Hope he is able to get on with his life again and he gets plenty of support. We certainly need a run of good luck don’t we. xx


  2. That book ‘The Life of Stuff’ looks a very interesting read. Right up my street. I’ve made a note of it. I’m currently reading ‘The Science of Shopping’ by Paco Underhill. I bought it at the CS and thought it might be interesting, which it is. One chapter to go now. I’m in a non-fiction mood of late too and can’t quite pick up fictional titles to read, even though I’ve got stacks waiting for me at home. Your pantry is going to be fab. I can’t wait to see the transformation. I’ve got pantry envy already.


  3. Lovely to see a pile of library books on another blog! I’ve read Life of Stuff and the Miss Read.


    1. I am still having nightmares about it! Small moves big change I have read before but wanted to reread. It is what it says on the tin and each chapter takes a different part of your life like sleep, meals, finances and talks about how to make small changes that make a big difference and each small change accumulates. So for instance you might just exercise for 1 minute a day to begin with – maybe walking up and down your stairs for 1 minute.


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