Hello everyone – sorry it has been a while – we are as busy as ever here with no time for even the shortest of posts. Have you enjoyed the summer? Until we were on holiday with the family the week before last I hardly noticed the weather as our time was spent just coming and going, packing and unpacking as we made several visits to see my mum. You may notice the groove we have worn on the M62/A1M between Huddersfield and Yarm – our car can now be set on automatic.
My mum, bless her, has taken up the majority of our time since the end of May and even now, almost 3 months after her fateful fall she is still in the care home and not any easier to deal with. The carers are exasperated and so are we. Each night she complains about her pillows not being right and she cannot get comfortable. The carers take it in turns to answer her buzzer (her record to date is that she buzzed 40 times in less than 15 minutes) and no matter how many or how few pillows or the how they place them she still complains they are not right. It has become a bit of an obsession but not one anyone can help with.
Mum had almost made the decision to stay in the care home – the social worker has been and told her she can go home now and will arrange daily care and some mobility equipment (which my sister and I think is totally unsuitable and things she will not be able to work by herself – she can’t even grasp turning the electric blanket on properly or answering the mobile anything with buttons and she just presses anything and everything to get them to work!). Mum is unsettled again now and we are left to deal with the fall out…thanks to social services.
But joyous moments as always lift the dark clouds and our annual family seaside holiday in Scarborough lifted our spirits immensly. There is nothing as wonderful as getting caught up in the excitement of young children and sure enough the grandchildren had a long to do list (and it didn’t include the washing up)– donkey rides, pirate ship, the beach, the park, the entertainment, the amusements, one or two craft workshops, fossil hunting, the penny pusher in the amusement arcades and fairground rides; not forgetting the daily ice creams and of course the fish and chip supper on the last night.
I think we managed it all.
Scarborough had reported two sewage spills earlier this year on both their beaches. No information was forthcoming from the Council as to how safe it was so to be sure we went further afield to the Blue Flag beach in Filey – a 20 minute run down the coast.
My daughter who loves sailing and holds a sailing licence thought it a good idea to deviate from going on the Pirate ship this year and suggested a trip on the retired Lifeboat instead. It looked rather more risky to me perched on top of the boat rather than sitting within it like on the Pirate ship but that did not seem to phase anyone else and they came back all smiles and ready to go again. I volunteered to stay ashore with my other daughter, who is definitely not a sailor, and look after the baby and all the baggage.
We had good weather with only one day of rain so on the wet day we took a trip over to the Beck Isle Museum in Pickering. I can recommend – lovely, helpful staff, an interesting display and we were lucky to hit on a day when they had people demonstrating their crafts – patchwork, printing, blacksmithing. The children loved it as there was plenty to occupy them and as before…
I was minding the baby!
We had a day in Peaseholm park – a walk up the Glen spotting squirrels (and the occasional rat). There was face painting (a long queue) and free entertainment – this guy was brilliant – I probably laughed more than the kids – it was good old fashioned fun – just what I needed.
The week passed by so quickly but we had an enjoyable time if not a little exhausting for us oldies.
On the way home we did a detour to Yarm so we could pop in and see mum in the care home (we stayed overnight in her flat). She was surprised to see us of course but then upset when we went.
Before we came home we had a stroll round to Preston Park. Brilliant place. Last year we bought an annual pass which was about £6 each but we have used it on every visit to see my mum.
They have a small Victorian Street layed out and the most wonderful kitchen garden. I made a donation for a couple of apples on the pick your own produce stall and after a good tour around admiring the garden we had a lazy hot chocolate watching the world go by at the little tea shop.
If only our last night supper of fish and chips in Scarborough had still been at these prices! I handed over two £20 notes for ours – 3 x Fish and Chips, 2 small sausage, one mushy peas, one curry sauce and our box of standard chips to share (we had our own tin of baked beans to add to this as we are vegetarian).
When we finally got back home the larder was completely bare though I managed to find a little produce of my own in the garden. I noticed last year’s potatoes (left behind in the soil) had sprouted and grown into a nice little crop and the courgette I forgot to pick before our holiday had grown into a marrow.
Despite all the neglect in the garden there are a few little highlights here and there.
And now we are home for a few days until the next visit – there has been some hard graft taking place as the catching up commences. The house needs a good clean, there is a mountain of washing and the garden is looking disappointingly forgotten about.
I have spent two days catching up with the paperwork. Another story of neglect. I have moved some savings, moved my mobile plan to a cheaper one, and moved a great pile of filing and scanning. It feels good to get a few tasks off the list.
And now it is the first of September and it is noticeably cooler and we are waking up to plenty of grey days. Both Master Freddie and Sweetie are starting school for the first time next week, so that only leaves Baby Chocolate at home. Sweetie has already decided she wants to be a Tooth Fairy when she grows up and Master Freddie wants a career with Paw Patrol!
Oh to be young and carefree…
As always welcome to new readers and those who patiently follow along with my rather haphazard posting. One day I promise I will get better at this blogging but I know that once mum is definitely going back to her home there will be a lot of arrangements to make and it will keep me busy again. It is not unusual at the moment for me to spend hours on the phone contacting Social Workers, carers and physiotherapists to discuss mum’s progress.
Back soon x
where the journey takes me 2 
Your holiday sounds tremendous fun and a well needed break, aging parents are hard work and they do push you to your limits, thank goodness we love them so much. I hope your mum decides to stay in the care home, and they find magic pillows for her, it would easy the worry for you. Gardens have a habit of waiting for you to come back to them.
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We had a good old fashioned British seaside holiday and it has set me up for the months ahead. Mum is such a trial at the moment and so negative, it is like she cannot help herself and just complains about everyone and everything. She has the lovely carers in tears quite often now – at 97 and free of any major medical problems other than her mobility she doesn’t realise how lucky she is really. My sister is finding it very hard as she has had to cope with her MIL’s death last week who had secondary cancr that went to the brain and took ill the same day as my mum fell. She died only 77 years old and worse still my mum expressed no sympathy just said it would free up more time for my sister to visit her! I think we are in for a very hard time when she gets back to her flat and it may be more than a magic pillow we need!
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It’s so difficult for families who are having to cope with aged parents who are living at home. We were lucky with my parents as they lived close by but it’s hard when they live a long car ride away. Your holiday in Scarborough sounds quite hard work with the little ones, not as relaxing as you probably needed, but I’m sure it was enjoyable just the same and just what you needed to take your mind of things, even for a short while.
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Thanks Jo – we did enjoy ourselves – although with four children there were moments! They are at a lovely age now and I am making sure I get lots of baby cuddles as baby Chocolate will no doubt be the last one given my daughter’s age now! I am not sure we will be around for any great grandchildren. No-one yet has succeeded in making mum even a little bit happy – it is sad she has no interest in life because it might easily be a very long one. She has even stopped reading now and watching TV, just stares out from her bed in the care home into the corridor waiting to see someone pass but will not engage with anyone else in the social and communal areas downstairs.
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You do have a lot to cope with at the moment. I hope you are able to resolve where your Mum should live before too long. That seaside holiday sounds just what you needed.
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The holiday was a joy despite it being quite hard work with so many of us. At least the children never complained and their only moments of awkwardness was when it was time to stop for the day and go back to the holiday home for tea. x
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Your holiday sounds wonderful. Just the tonic you needed after all the stress. Sorry to hear of all your difficulties with your mum. I hope she’s feeling more settled soon.
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