Category: plEAsurable

lovely events

Posted on

creating Christmas * day 15

The Christmas neighbourly get together

(This post is a day late but I didn’t get home unitl after 1 o’clock last night and then straight out again today for an appointment).

Most years, but not every year, we get together with our immediate neighbours for an evening before Christmas.  It is always a casual affair and a date set if both parties have an evening to spare.

I thought it was definitely my turn to host it but apparently not; so on Monday night we went round to our neighbours house and I had very little to do apart from take a bottle and make the chocolate.

Homemade chocolates
Homemade Chocolates

My neighbour always welcomes the chocolates I make, so I make extra and leave plenty with her. These are old pictures but it mostly looks the same with some variations on nuts and adornments.

We had a lovely evening chatting about old times on our cul-de-sac (we have both been here 40 years now) and the changes that have occurred over the years.  We have daughters, grandchildren and a mother of similar ages and can relate to all the problems that we have being in the sandwich generation.

We discuss everything and anything from garage clear outs (that we both need to do), the cost of living, the best supermarket prices to plays and events we have been to.  We are very comfortable in each other’s company so it is always a nice relaxing evening where we can be ourselves.

I look forward to this one evening a year (although if we can manage it we have another in the summer months); this is in addition of course to our long chats on the driveway as we see each other coming and going or in the garden.

It is so lovely to have a good neighbour as others have come and gone over the years and a few have been rather problematic.

So I will keep plying them with my chocolates in the hope that they don’t move before we do!!

Posted on

dear diary ~ a moment….ous week

Not only was it Remembrance Day yesterday but it has been a week filled with both sad and happy moments.

Last Tuesday my friend K could not come shopping with us as she was expecting a visit from her daughter. I was a bit disappointed as we look forward to her company but we agreed to catch up later in the week for a chat. We almost overstayed our welcome in Sainsbury’s carpark as you only get two hours and I was having a good browse in all the various sections including the clothes and looking out for any Nectar bargains. It was mid afternoon when we got back home and we had just eaten our lunch and put all the shopping away when a little after 4pm we had a phone call from K’s daughter to say she had been rushed into hospital. K was diagnosed with a terminal illness in October of last year and we all knew her time was limited, but somehow she managed to keep going and always keep smiling.

We went up to the hospital to see her straight away and then visited a couple of times through the week but she was mostly asleep or very drowsy, then on the Thursday teatime when we bobbed in to see her after my audiology appointment, she was raised up in her bed enjoying a cup of tea. We had a lovely little chat for a short time and then came away so as not to tire her out. I didn’t know then but this would be the last time we would have together… and I will cherish those moments. On the Friday morning K became unresponsive and eventually slipped away peacefully on Monday.

Although we had an age gap of almost 20 years, K was a dear and special friend who I met almost by accident when I gave a lift one freezing winter’s morning many years ago to her neighbour Bernard. It is a story I have told before on my blog. Bernard became my Tuesday and Thursday morning companion as I drove into work until he became ill and was taken into hospital. That evening I had a call from K his neighbour saying Bernard was asking that I should go and visit him and had passed my phone number to her. We alternated our visits as his family lived away and each evening K and I would speak on the phone to report on progress. After 2 weeks Bernard passed away but K and I continued to phone each other and eventually met at Bernard’s funeral. Our relationship continued and blossomed and we found we liked the same things especially the area of Scotland where our cottage was located. K and her partner often came on holiday to the area around Stranraer and we would meet up if we were at the cottage at the same time.

When I see the poppies now I will always remember our last moments together but I know our Tuesday shopping day will never feel quite the same without the cup of tea and a chat we had afterwards when we took her back home.

The weekend was another busy one for us.

On the Saturday we were determined to fit something in for ourselves and we chose the Sheffield Print Fair at the Millenium Gallery. As I was born in Sheffield near the Wednesday ground I love to go back and now the city centre is vibrant once again after the loss of Debenhams and John Lewis and a certain amount of regeneration and rebuilding has been occurring over the last few years. The planners I think are doing a good job, preserving some of the old historic buildings amongst the new and providing plenty of lush planting and seating around to soften the harshness of these concrete cities.

The print fair was packed and we thoroughly enjoyed browsing the stalls of some very talented young (and older) print designers. There was every kind of printing method on show but I am always drawn to the linocuts and silk screen prints rather than the polished digital artwork.

Afterwards, we had a mooch around the centre. It has been a while since we were last there and a lot of the demolition sites are now showing off the new and restored buildings. It is something I like about Sheffield that they try to keep and cherish old buildings and they sit side by side with the new.

This block housed an old fashioned jeweller in the corner shop; in the upstairs windows you could see them at work with the machinery on old wooden benches. The end of the run was obviously past restoration but they have added a new section to compliment the terrace.

They also flaunt madly the fact that the city grew on steel manufacturing and many of the structures around the centre are made of it. Because of the steel industry Sheffield was hit hard in the blitz and most of the town centre was demolished by bombs and needed a complete rebuild. Nearly everyone had a relative affected by the blitz in one way or another. My grandma had her windows blown out a few times, but was luckier than the people in the next street along whose house had a direct hit.

It is a leafy city as well – had I had the time I would have been picking up some of these leaves to press.

We walked down the Moor to Atkinsons, the family run department store, where this plaque is permanently displayed in the entrance. They are doing well to survive in this retail climate and it is such a comforting department store as it hardly ever changes, just a little updating every so often; enough to keep up with the trends but not huge changes and revamps like John Lewis.

On Sunday it was Sweetie’s 7th birthday – oh the joy and excitement of being seven. We travelled up to north Yorkshire to help at her pottery painting party that she had with a few friends and afterwards she had a second family party at her home and a mammoth present opening session.

This meant two cakes, though at the friends party we just gave out a cupcake each (far less mess than cake cutting).

She struggled at times to read some of the messages in her friends cards!

….but was overjoyed at the presents….

….and she declared the day her best birthday so far.

Meanwhile, this week I was set the task (I don’t even remember volunteering for this) of organising a celebration for my mum when she turns 100 in January. It will be a small group of us as she has outlived many of the family members. We have decided on a private dining space in a local restaurant and will probably opt for the Sunday lunch. Their menu is quite extensive and they even have fish and chips (which I think mum might like) and luckily for us a nut roast. I think there will be something for everyone’s tastes. I just hope the weather is not against us and that no-one falls ill with colds or Covid, especially not my mum! It would be so annoying to wait a hundred years for this special day and then not be able to celebrate it.

I am making sure our vitamin C quota is kept high in the hope the dreaded lurgy in one form or another passes us by and it is a delight to go into my pantry at the moment, the colours are a wonderful sight.

I have bought all the ingredients now for my usual favourite ‘organic’ Christmas cake recipe and managed to get a smaller pack of white icing from Hobbycraft as I only ever cover the top. I am all set to make it the Sunday after next if I remember to soak the fruit on the Friday.

I have also sorted the Christmas Eve Santa pyjamas for the 4 grandchildren, red tartan for the girls and white for the boys, their mum’s choice. I nearly ended up with all the colours in all the sizes and stripped Sainsbury’s bare. Now the respective mum’s have decided on the right sizes I can return the surplus and Sainsbury’s can re-stock!

I also have my eye on these.

I don’t think I have anymore tales to tell of the last week. This week I need to finish the mountain of ironing that has accumulated and sketch out some ideas for the linocutting workshop DH and I are booked onto on the 19th November, only a week away.

After finishing my last 3 tasks I didn’t have chance last week with the hospital visits to do more but I have more or less decided on the next three.

  • Plant the bulbs and small mixed shrub selection I bought a while ago in pots or the garden.
  • Drop off the items we have for the auction at the Crisis charity coffee morning at church.
  • Trim the berberis

Have a great week and thank you for all your comments…so sorry I never got to answer some of them – normal service might resume soon.

Posted on

dear diary ~ a creative few days…

I finally completed my 3 tasks. It took me to the Wednesday of last week.

The sewing of the greenhouse shading took far longer than I had anticipated but it is finished and packed away for next year.

There was little point in me setting another 3 tasks when the grandchildren were about to descend upon us for a few days. The next three tasks would have to wait a while.

Instead I did do a few little jobs that have been waiting my attention just to get them off my mind.

I made some more thank you labels. Currently I am selling quite a few garments on Vinted for my daughter and once wrapped in tissue I add a little thank you label. So far this year I have made almost £200….enough maybe to check if I need to pay tax to ‘Rachel from accounts’ although I am not sure my meagre contribution will solve her cash flow problem!

I also glued the little houses back together that the grandchildren made during a previous school holiday. Then I stuck them down onto a strip of card so they don’t wobble over anymore when I am dusting. Thank heavens for the glue gun inventor.

Since the grandchildren arrived last Thursday we have been busy bees …..making and baking…..and entertaining…….my house is in utter chaos….but we had great fun.

Some of it done in complete secret!

We painted the wooden Halloween train, only to find that 7 of the 19 pieces in the box were missing. We painted the scary plaster figures only to find that one of them was faulty and the base sheered away irreparably. There were tears of frustration and no amount of comforting words helped their initial disappointment.

Luckily, the missing pieces did not stop us putting the main parts of the train together…but nothing could be done for the plaster figurine even with my trusty glue gun and Sweetie had to make do by decorating the Halloween balloons instead.

The little kits were bought at The Works and I did go back and tell them and the lady did refund our money.

My advice is to check these kits as soon as you buy them.

I bought some cute autumn cupcake cases and toppers from Homesense but the children preferred more gruesome decorations on their buns!

We spent all afternoon on the Friday making a lantern from some old 5 litre water bottles for the village lantern event on the Saturday night.

The event is completely free and run by volunteers (though donations are welcomed). The lanterns are made either individually like ours or by some of the local schools, playgroups and other groups in the village. This will be the 5th year now and the first one we have been able to attend. It is such a lovely ‘feel good’ village event with everyone coming together to enjoy a very simple evening.

I had rooted out some old 5 litre water bottles from the shed…the ones I usually use as cloches in my garden….but needs must!

Being too young, Baby Chocolate was not a party to this crafternoon, but Little L, Sweetie and Master Freddie each decorated a bottle with tissue papers, which we then ‘varnished’ over with PVA craft glue to make it water resistant. Grandad assemble the three bottles into one giant lantern and threaded the string of battery lights through each one. The result was quite effective and the children were delighted at their combined efforts.

On Saturday at 3 o’clock we took our lantern down to the People’s Pleasure Grounds to be hung ready for the event later that evening. The Pleasure Grounds were created by the mill owners for the mill workers in the village for their leisure time.

It is basically a path surrounded by some very mature trees and runs alongside what was the mill stream in the valley bottom.

Across the stream is a long imposing terrace of mill houses that were built by the mill owners for their workers like the village of Saltaire. We once lived in one of these houses when we first married.

We chose a lovely dark spot and hung our lantern from the highest tree branch we could reach without a ladder. The whole place was a hive of activity as the volunteers were putting up all the other lanterns that the villagers had made.

We then rushed home to put the baked potatoes in the oven for an early tea and at 6pm prompt, when it was quite dark, we all went back to the Pleasure grounds for the start of the lantern walk event. I would say that it is about a 500 yard walk from one end to the other and it was fabulously lit by strings of homemade lanterns.

The children were so excited to see their handiwork swinging from the tree and glowing in the dark.

There were some really lovely ones – I only managed to get one or two pictures of my favourites.

We ended the trail with a hot chocolate from a catering van and some tiny chocolate brownies that I had bought from Morrisons.

And the fun didn’t stop there as on the Sunday afternoon I had booked us all into a local village Halloween pantomime – Jekyll and Hyde. It was amateur dramatics at its best and a brilliant performance…..scary and funny in equal measure. The children had front row seats and got showered with a pretend bucket of water (confetti of course) but let out shrieks of delight when they realised it wasnt! Baby Chocolate picked every piece of confetti that had landed off himself and then started on the floor. Photography was not allowed but I did manage a couple of pics of the pantomime dame and the two policeman as we left the theatre.

The grandhildren have all gone back to their respective homes now and we had a much needed day off yesterday and spent a few hours in the garden.

Today and Friday I have some little Halloween sweet bags to make up and hopefully put out the paper pumpkin lanterns in the tree outside if the weather stays fine.

And I must not forget to make up my next list of 3 project tasks to make a start on, though I won’t be able to do much until after the visit up to see my mum on Saturday.

Back soon x

Posted on

dear diary ~ finding my way back

I have been quite neglectful of my little space here recently….time has just evaded me.

As much as I have wanted to write, and the intention is always there, somehow I just never found that moment….and then when I did WordPress decided it was not going to let me preview my posts. But all good now – I solved the problem before they did.

A lot has happened since my last entry and thankfully I do manage to keep my little journal going that sits by my bed and is a useful memory bank and reminder of why I am not finding the time to write here very often.

I have no doubt that followers, readers and fellow bloggers will be eager for an update just as I am when someone disappears off the scene for any length of time – and I thank those of you who have been in contact, checking I am still here and OK.

And now for the news.

Mum is home now and settled back into her little apartment. It was touch and go whether she would leave the care home or not but she decided to give it a try and in fact we found out during the arrangements that due to the possibility of requiring council funding in the future she had no option but to go back home (*see more details on this below).

She came home on 18th September and from then ’till now she has taken this long to settle in (well as much as she ever will). I do not like to speak ill of people but the social worker appointed was next to useless. One day out of the blue in August I had a phone call from her to say she was going to carry out an assessment on mum and could I be there. Well given I live 90 miles away and she arranged this assessment for 9am one morning, no I couldn’t and my sister was away on holiday too so she couldn’t attend either.

The social worker chose not to rearrange for a time convenient for us and saw mum on her own. Once again she, as the previous social worker, assessed mum as having capacity (which I always question as she cannot retain or undersatnd a lot of information). She assessed her as being able to go back home but NOT requiring 24 hour care even though she had 24 hour care in the care home and required help to get to the toilet in the night. I believe this assessment was more to do with the fact that the council will not provide or pay for 24 hour care outside of a care home if mum wasn’t able to pay her carers privately.

*The shocking side of all this, which mum’s social worker just ‘happened’ to mention and I hope anyone in our situation will take note, is that if an elderly person is assessed as not requiring 24 hour care and they themselves decide they would prefer to be in a care home which is of course 24 hour care and then they become eligible for financial help provided by the local council (once the magic figure of £23,500 of savings has been reached) then the council are not oblidged to step in and pay for your 24 hour care if you were assessed as not needing it. This is very worrying for anyone who does not have enough savings to pay their way privately.

Once the social worker had done the assessment she promptly went on annual leave for 2 weeks without putting in place a leaving date for mum and this cost us another £2,000 in care home fees for a further two weeks delay. It would have cost us over £4,000 as the care home work on a 4 week notice period but the manager decided she would waiver the 2 weeks after mum left because of the failing of the social worker to act promptly.

When the social worker came back from holiday we set a date for mum to leave (Monday 18th September) and she said she would make all the arrangements for a home care package and transport to be in place for that day – which was the following week. Luckily, I rang social services on the Thursday (four days before my mum was due to go home) for an update as I had not heard anything and found that the social worker was not only on holiday again but had done nothing towards getting my mum home. It was now urgent that something was done but social services would not supply another social worker to sort this out so I had to do all the arranging with the care agency and book transport myself with the help of the admin clerk in the social services department who stepped in and was a great help and could only apologise for the social workers lack of arrangements.

Mum now has a care agency going in four times every day as required by the social workers assessment. Her first visit is at 9am when the carer goes in to get her up, washed and dressed and on her last visit at 6pm she is put to bed – which is quite early for mum but the only time the carers had available. She has to eat her lunch around 11.30 and her evening meal around 3.30 when she has the other two visits from the carers during the day. After the last visit she spends 14 hours on her own with no one to help her until the carer appears at 9am again. During this time she cannot get a drink other than water at her bedside, if she is cold she cannot put her heating on -she can just about get herself out of bed to the commode beside her. If she falls or has an emergency she can use the call button she has around her neck. In the care home of course she had a buzzer to summon help to go to the toilet or get a drink made. It is all very sad and this is happening to elderly people up and down the country.

My sister continues to visit her on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday and cooks ready meals for her feezer, does all the washing and cleans throughout the flat. She works full time and has to do her work in the evening on the days she visits in the week. I ring mum every night and visit as often as we can to help my sister and ease mum’s boredom but she is definitely getting worse with her memory and her anxiety levels become so high when my sister is away that she often won’t get up and says she feels ‘off colour’ so the carers will leave her in bed as she feels safer in bed when my sister is away.

Mum pays for her care privately at the moment as she has savings above the £23,500 magic threshold – it costs her almost £800 for the week. Yes you read this correctly! Plus she has all her bills and food on top and the service charge for the apartment and council tax. The care home in comparison was £1090 a week but it was all inclusive and it was one of the cheaper places around Yarm – most of them are about £1,300 to £1,500 per week and this is only if you do not require specialist nursing care or have dementia.

If the local council do have to help with the fees their contribution is of course capped, so if you choose a more expensive place then relatives are expected to put in the additional money called a topup.

My advice is not only to start saving now for your old age but to keep fit and healthy so you can look after yourself as long as possible!!

===========================================================================

Our life of course is not all about mum and we have had little snippets of time to take our new baby Chocolate to the park once or twice and we had a free admission day to the National Trust property at Dunham Massey.

During the school holidays we all went to see a local Halloween pantomime called the Haunted House put on by a group of amateur dramatics in the next village. It was exceptionally good – though my back was exceptionally bad and has been recently with a lot of travelling up and down to North Yorkshire to see mum. After the panto we all came back to my house for a buffet tea and the grandchildren had spent the morning making (what has now become a bit of a tradition here) place name cards – in the theme of Halloween.

Granny was a pumpkin.

We had another invasion two weeks later when everyone decended upon us again to celebrate Sweetie’s 5th birthday. She is quite taken with Hello Kitty and my SIL manage to find some stationery from the Hello Kitty era when her girls were young. We made chocolate buns with Hello Kitty toppers and of course more named place cards.

On a cold Saturday evening in November we had a little adventure with master Freddie and baby Chocolate (who slept through the whole event) in Cliffe Woods at Clayton West a village near Denby Dale (of the pie fame and not too far away from us). The event was named ‘Light up the Woods’ – a firework free zone – a trail through woodland that was alight with a wonderful display of recycled rubbish made by local groups and school children.

Since then I have been busy crafting and other such delights and all being well I should be able to give you a glimpse of my ‘efforts’ in the next few days.

Hoping you are all well – I can see most of you are happily blogging away and I am slowly catching up and you may even get a comment or two.

Until next time ……xx