Tag: family

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feasting ~ and yet more partying

Another weekend of partying and party preparing.

This time it was Master Freddie’s 7th birthday party on Sunday afternoon with many of his friends. He has always been good at arithmetic and quite obsessed with number blocks from an early age, so it came as no surprise that he really wanted a number blocks party. It makes no difference to him that the other boys in his class may have already progressed onto Nerf battles or Pokemon parties – he was adamantly sticking to number blocks.

So we made some.

It took us most of the week to source the bits we needed to build seven number blocks. Not quite cubes, as we used mainly the empty wine boxes Sainsbury’s put out for customers to take, as they were free. Finding the plain coloured paper was not easy and a roll of orange was not to be had anywhere and too late for us to order any, so we had to improvise and join a few sheets of orange A4 card together that we had left over from Halloween (but it did the job…and here they are).

Master Freddie’s mum hired the local village hall and a wonderful party entertainer called Nellie B, who was happy to do a mix of traditional games, team games, dancing and the highlight at the end was the snow machine, which had all 23 partygoers screaming with excitement.

And now we are recovering from the two weekends of partying, and we both came down with a cold on Monday morning. I am not surprised as our diet for the past two weeks has not been wonderful, many quick to make meals and a few cans of soup to fill in when we haven’t been able to make our own. So we are paying the price of not looking after ourselves and the dental appointment for today has been cancelled so we don’t pass on any germs.

In all I am feeling rather weary, it has been quite a hectic time since well before Christmas and no doubt my body is telling me I need to rest. Mum is already pestering me about going up to see her as her party seems a long time ago now to her….increasingly she has no sense of time anymore. I will somehow have to dodge the question of ‘when will I be seeing you’.

January seems to be melting away now, just like the recent snowfall we had. In a weeks time we will be greeting February and all the month brings. I already have a joyful vase of daffodils on my kitchen windowsill and orange tulips on the table. I especially like them as they begin to droop and their stems wander and, had I the time, I would reach for my sketch book and watercolours.

As I eat my breakfast I have a direct sight out to the garden arch we erected in the garden last year. It was one of the non-negotionable possessions that we brought back from our cottage garden in Scotland. I have hung the fat ball feeder from the top and it is wonderful to see a host of garden birds everyday coming to feed. I am not organised enough to take part in the Big Garden Bird Watch, but I will get plenty of pleasure just watching them each day.

Apart from making number blocks I have been making headway with our finances, planning a new budget for this year against the final figures for last year and updating our savings accounts with any interest. This passive income is vital when you are on a pension, so it is important to find the highest earning tax fee ISA accounts that I can when any come to maturity.

All in all, even with the cost of living increasing, we are doing OK but I do worry about our long term future and possible care costs given that my mum has reached 100 now and the cost of her care over the last 2 years has now depleted her savings to the point that we need to apply to her local authority for assistance.

I expect after their assessment they will not want her to stay put in her own home as the cost of her care is over a £1,000 a week now and when you add her living costs onto that it will probably far exceed what the council will pay and they will obviously prefer to pay the all inclusive care home fees where they do a deal with certain homes for the smaller, cheaper rooms.

Of course there is no issue for the council if a relative wants to step in and offer to pay the difference in costs, but this has to be thought through carefully because we have no idea how long mum might live for…at the moment I am thinking possibly to 105 and five years of expenses will be required, and expenses that will increase as she gets less able and with more dementia; this will drain any savings that we have put aside for our long term needs.

Mum is so much better remaining in her own home with carers going in four times a day for almost an hour at a time. She would not get that amount of undivided attention from the carers in a care home. When she fell and had a brief spell in one a couple of years ago she was lucky to be helped to the toilet two or three times a day and that involved minimal ‘chatting’ as they would be dashing to help the next person pressing the buzzer. Her main contact was the support staff bringing a meal.

It is such a worry but all I can do now is wait for the call from a social worker, when one is appointed, and they are struggling to do that until some time in February.

But not all is doom and gloom, there are little signs here and there that spring is on its way and that is always cheerful. On our walks we see the catkins growing longer and in the garden I have shoots forcing their way up through the ground – only to meet with this bitterly cold and wet weather.

I never mind January, in fact I quite like being able to hibernate (parties aside) and concentrate on staying home where it is cosy and warm; bringing the paperwork and filing up to date and if I exhaust that, turning out a few cupboards. And planning, lots of planning…maybe even dreaming a little of what I might do in the year ahead.

It was nice to clear the decorations from Christmas, they are neatly packed away again in the loft, and have a clean around but I never feel it is quite the time for a deep clean until I can get any soft furnishings washed and out to blow on the line. We had a trip to Ikea last Thursday, not for anything in particular just a look around. I like to look at their room sets for ideas, especially where they cleverly use some of the items in tiny spaces. I do want to fit out our built in wardrobe but it is quite shallow and definitely not walk in. The 35cm deep and 50cm wide Pax frame would be ideal to slot in at one side and would give me room to put 3 or 4 shelves above and 3 or 4 drawers below.

I have a yearning to create a capsule wardrobe of clothes that actually all fits into the wardrobe – underwear, scarves, bags, coats, the lot. I have already condensed the clothes in the 3 drawer chest down enough to be able to remove it from the bedroom all together soon as our main bedroom is not very big by today’s standards and space is at a premium. I am replacing it with the Ikea Nordiska dressing table, which will be painted a duck egg blue colour and is just a nice size to fit between the bed and the window wall. DH will have the Nordiska bedside table at his side.

So that is my few ramblings and now I am going to rest and read…quite a treat really if it wasn’t for this awful streaming cold.

Thank you for your previous comments, my mum had a lovely week with plenty of attention, but so far no card from King Charles, maybe he needs a nudge.

Back soon….I hope x

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dear diary :: welcome to the new year

A very Happy New Year to everyone.

A new year and a new start for me – I have been away from my little space here for far too long – habits can soon take over, even ones you don’t particularly want, and I found that finding the time to blog became harder and harder. I have tried to keep up with reading my favourite blogs but only as a commentless reader. I hope once I get back into the rhythm that you will be hearing from me a lot more. I have certainly missed you all and hope you are all in good health.

I couldn’t even tell you where all the time has gone since I was last here in July – it has just evaporated; but I can say I have been busier than ever, despite the Covid restrictions.

As I write this now it is the first day that I have nothing, nothing I must attend to and I can truly relax and not feel there is something I have to do or someone I have to call and best of all it is snowing outside and looks absolutely beautiful.

And yes that is my new greenhouse you can see in the garden – the best Christmas present ever.

Just after my last post in July we managed a trip to Scotland to the cottage – the maintenance jobs and problems awaiting us because we had not been allowed to travel was extensive and upsetting and in the end we had to stay on a few extra days to sort out all the problems. What a good job we drained down the caravan when we left as little did we know then it would be our last visit of the year.

Since our return in August we had many trips to see my mum when my sister needed some respite and restrictions allowed and soon mum will be celebrating her 95th birthday though we do not know what we will be able to do and have nothing planned – we know a party will not be possible other than on Zoom.

Most of September and October was taken up with installing the new kitchen….yes the new kitchen….I know I can’t believe it either but it is, as I had hoped, absolutely wonderful even allowing for the fact I am still getting to grips with the new hob and oven and we have not even tried the dishwasher yet. I will no doubt be overloading you with pictures of the transformation soon.

Back in November my daughter helped to decorate the railings outside Little L’s school with these poppies made from plastic bottle bottoms that she and some of the school children collected and painted.

They were so effective and equally as striking as the cute little display in her village.

We also celebrated a very special birthday for two year old Sweetie – no party as such just granny and grandad and a chocolate caterpillar cake.

In the run up to Christmas we managed to do all of the Christmassy things but in a simple and quieter fashion this year. Didn’t it look so wonderfully festive everywhere when the decorations went up? Most villages and towns had an abundance of lights this year – it was such a cheery and welcome sight and it will seem quite drab when they all come down again.

I made and iced the cake and Little L carefully placed all the decorations on it.

Delightful. I love the way she wanted them all lined up like soldiers! We finished it off with an old fashioned paper cake frill that I found to go around the sides. Little L also made the truffles which did not last long and were simply delicious.

I turned old Christmas cards from last year into money and voucher envelopes, they looked quite effective mounted onto some black envelopes I had in my craft cupboard with the messages written in a silver coloured pen.

For my own homemade Christmas cards I decided on a simple wreath design and hand painted each one in watercolour paints and then over stamped with a rubber stamp and copper ink.

I always try and make the gifts I give to my closest friends and this year I made up a mini cheese board for each of them with a selection of cheeses, oat cakes and chutney using a paddle board I bought from Ikea and covering the display with a large cellophane roasting bag.

And for other friends that I don’t exchange gifts with I made little posies of flowers.

After all the restrictions placed on us for weeks on end it was a major treat to be able to go to an outdoor lantern event which was well managed and the weather kindly stayed dry.

We also had great fun at our usual family Secret Santa get together – this year though it was through Zoom – playing Bingo and name that Christmas tune amongst other games – with Sean the Sheep of course.

On New Year’s day we had a walk at a local nature reserve. At barely above freezing the ground was hard and each of the puddles had a skim of ice with some quite superb patterns – it was irresistable to crack like popping bubble wrap.

And now I am thinking of the days and months stretching ahead – I am trying not to think that they will be dark days as this virus twists and turns and continues to be such a nuisance in our lives. I want to use the time wisely and I want to carve out a new normal for us – I have a feeling this is going to go on longer than anyone had first thought.

As with most beginnings I am trying to think of a suitable word that will sum up what I am aiming for this year. Flourish was the word I chose last year and in many ways I did – I learnt a lot about myself during the lockdown and we also learnt to do without very much whilst still living well.

I will need a few more ‘thinking’ days before I settle on something, so watch this space.

So I have little more to say at the moment – I am going to have a visit into blogland to see what everyone is up to and say hi.

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dear diary :: forty years young

I am still finding it hard to believe I have a daughter who is forty. I can still remember the day she was born and the joy that I felt holding her in my arms for the very first time. She was nicknamed Peaches from the start, as she was quite jaundiced for a while, and looking back over the last forty years we have had so many delightful moments together and so many parties and so many cakes. Now she is a mother herself about to travel along the same path but in quite different times.

Of all the parties I have ever organised, or attended, this must have been the strangest – but it was also great fun and thanks to all my family who somehow against all the odds managed to make it a special day for my daughter’s fortieth birthday. We even had family members join in the video link up from the car on their way to the supermarket.

Of course not everything went to plan…it reminded me of an amateur dramatics society’s first night where blunders often abound….. but all add to the fun.

I had decided to make a naked fresh cream and fruit cake for my daughter with strawberries and blueberries – and what a challenge that proved to be, certainly not as easy as the pictures on pinterest would suggest! The baking part went without mishap but, just like the buttercream on the cake I made for little Freddie’s first birthday earlier in the year, I couldn’t get a smooth finish with the double cream on this one either – although to my relief it tasted just fine. I only had 8″ sandwich tins so had to cut each cake down to just under 7″ as there would only be the two of them (daughter and her husband) to eat it. I am keeping the off cuts to make a trifle, when I can get to the shops for some fresh raspberries.

The cake, card and flowers were delivered on the day to my daughter’s doorstep as we passed on our way to the supermarket for some fresh milk. My daughter had no idea of what we were planning for her in the afternoon. We all connected in to Zoom at 2 o’clock so that we could surprise her when her DH logged in at ten past two.

Each guest was asked to make a party hat to wear and a bun with a candle in so we could all light them together and sing happy birthday. I baked enough buns to use the happy birthday candles I found in my pantry and decorated them with my favourite sprinkles, though not enough fudgy bits for my liking. DH and I are still wading our way through these – such hardship! So far we have had them with afternoon tea in the garden and with a little of the leftover fresh cream and then when that ran out some ice cream – I am dreading getting onto the scales on Friday as I am sure I will have gained weight during this lock down.

The whole family got into the spirit of the day and produced hats, balloons and banners – even some disco lighting. The only balloons I could find were ‘Happy 3rd Birthday’ but I blew them up anyway – improvising in these strange times seems quite normal now.

My daughter was both surprised and delighted especially when Little L painstakingly did a solo tune of happy birthday with one finger on her piano followed by me on the handbells. And isn’t Zoom marvellous, DH managed to share on screen a few photos of our dear daughter’s earlier life to entertain everyone and Little L drew her a very sweet Happy Birthday picture. We drank a toast (I managed to find a bottle of ginger beer in the garage from a past party – and it was rather scrummy) and then played the ‘Daughter Quiz’ I had prepared. DH tried hard to keep up with the scoring on the score board though I am sure through all the rabble it wasn’t at all accurate and we ended up with a tie breaker question – it was amazing how much knowledge my family had – but in the end it was Aunty P that won. Then everyone did the very British thing that we all do in difficult times – made a cup of tea.

We all had a marvellous time thanks to technology, but how exhausting to be linked into Zoom chatting and partying for over 2 hours – and we all said how tired we were afterwards… but it was a day of making memories and will be a birthday we will never forget.

Stay safe everyone – hoping you are all well. x

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dear diary :: rest and restore

Oooops….how did so much time pass by since my last post – it has been more than busy here since our return from Scotland at the beginning of May, a bit of a roller coaster, and I am feeling rather fraught and fed up at the moment. Mum has been on another visit and they don’t get any easier. By the end of the last day, as lovely as it is to see her, she is such high maintenance now and has me in such a tizzy. I certainly needed my calming yoga class this morning. She is steadily going downhill, no major or serious illness more an accumulation of niggly complaints that are limiting her mobility and confidence; she is constantly anxious about her deteriorating condition which is making her frustrated and a bit demanding. She would like things to be as they were when she was young and fit and well – sadly her body and mind will never return to that….. but that is true for all of us as we age, and she is both in denial and expectant that the doctor is going to hand her some magic pill to restore her to her old self…….and that is not going to happen. In fact the more tablets she takes the more problems are occurring because of the side effects. It feels like we are fire fighting added to which her daily diet of sausage rolls, mini cheddar crackers and Magnum lollies in place of a good balanced meal is not helping but she wouldn’t agree! Still at 93 does it really matter if she is enjoying them.

Yesterday we took her back home to North Yorkshire and on the way we stopped in Thirsk for lunch. It was beyond busy with the bank holiday visitors and the outdoor market taking up most of the parking places near to the shops and cafes. With no disabled spots available mum had to hobble along the bumpy cobbles with her bad knee (it was actually her good knee until she managed to twist it badly on Wednesday and is now back to a pronounced limp). After lunch she insisted on walking to Boots as she had her mind fixed on getting some Ibuprofen to help with the inflammation on her knee. When the pharmacist knew she took blood pressure tablets she advised against taking the Ibuprofen tablets but suggested continuing with the Ibuprofen gel the doctor had prescribed as it is more localised (taking tablets can cause kidney failure in people with high blood pressure). Mum reluctantly put the tablets back. Later on though whilst shopping in Sainsbury’s in Northallerton I discovered she had sneaked a packet into her trolley! What can I do? She is determined to take them and ignore the advice. She is looking for a quick fix. Aren’t we all!

The Christening of Sweetie took place on the Sunday before last at the little church in Healey, North Yorkshire; a beautiful church in a beautiful village setting and at the moment one of the churches taking part in the Art Installations Trail around the Masham area – for anyone interested see the link here.

It was a gloriously sunny day and the vicar, who was on TV last week and married my daughter in 2008, delivered a very memorable address during the service reminding us that whatever shape, colour or creed we are all unique and handed ‘mum’ a picture of a Zebra as a reminder for Sweetie when she is older (each Zebra’s stripes are unique to them). We sang the hymn with gusto…….well the vicars wife did….’One more step along the way we go’ and then Sweetie was doused with the baptism water…..Sweetie did not take kindly to this.

Making the dress was a labour of love – a joy to make but I am not sure it was my best work – I found my eyes are not as sharp now for such intense sewing and wearing reading glasses all the time is a bit cumbersome and gave me eye strain. Added to which I spent so much time looking down that by the time the dress was finished my neck and shouders had become so tense I was quite dizzy moving my head.

We had a change of mind about the fabric and in the end we used some leftover ivory silk from my daughter’s bridesmaid dresses and Nottingham tulle lace left over from when I made wedding dresses.

If nothing else making this dress helped me to see that there is no way I could do this kind of intense sewing now – any ideas I have had recently about starting another business in this line are firmly quashed. As much as I love to sew and make things my life has moved on now, I am older and slower, and I must move on with it and accept that any sewing I do will be as a hobby….for pleasure only and something not time limited. Although I enjoyed making the dress nothing else got done and I feel like I am back to square one with the house. You should see it now (well no you shouldn’t it is an absolute tip). I have washing and ironing to catch up with, phone calls to make, general cleaning, gardening and it is now time for a visit to Scotland again.

During all the must do’s we have managed a few days out and about – this is the best time of year to look around other gardens. We spent a lovely day walking around the hidden gardens of Little Ouseburn, near York – some of the participants have been opening up their gardens for many years now and it is interesting to see how they have developed and changed over time.

Little Ouseburn Gardens

After my Yoga class last Tuesday we had a trip out to York Gate gardens in Leeds – one of my favourite small gardens now in the care of the charity Perennial and their many volunteers.

I am in need of rest and restoration at the moment – a few days relaxing and time to think about the days ahead and what I might plan to do during June. You may have noticed my lack of comments recently – I have been reading along with my favourite blogs as much as I can and I hope normal service will resume soon.