We are almost at the end of our time here and winding down on the task list. There has been rain but mainly overnight and the weather looks set to hold although I think the temperature has dropped a few degrees.
Today I really must prune the apple tree – a job I have kept putting off as I confess I really do not know what I am doing. I have read up on plenty of pruning advice and watched one or two videos but none of the trees in their pictures look quite like mine and I feel rather daunted by it all. It is a Braeburn and I have no idea how it is getting pollinated as ideally it says they need two other apple trees and all we have is the large Bramley apple tree nearby. Surprisingly then, we had a lovely little crop last year. Now I am worried I might prune off the wrong branches and be left with a framework that produces fewer apples.
We managed the tip run yesterday and the lovely men that work there helped us with unloading the old plasterboard from the kitchen ceiling and then even swept out the trailer – we would not have had that service at home. They keep the place swept and clean and carefully signed so you know that you are not going to risk getting a puncture there from old nails and broken glass. Our tip down at home is quite badly run and by people that really couldn’t care less – I am not sure they ever sweep up.
Thankfully, now we have the brown garden waste bin at home to take the stuff we can’t compost we don’t have to visit our tip very often. When I can I always find homes for any unwanted items rather than take them to the tip, even bits of wood and old tools – there is often a charity that will take odd things or Freecycle. It makes me feel quite ill to see people unloading some quite good stuff from their car into the skips. It seems criminal to me to see bikes, toys, cabinets etc. being thrown away.  I even saw someone throw away a large plastic dog basket….what would have been wrong about washing it well and passing it on? In Stranraer you can take all these items to the big shed next to the tip where they will sell them on (I believe they repair bikes too).
The snowdrops are spreading around the woodland walk quite nicely now but not as quickly as I would like so I will be transplanting some of them to places new as they are just on the turn and will be over by the time we come again.
We have noticed this week that we seem to have acquired a flock of crows at the cottage – they are being fed indirectly by someone in the village who believes he is feeding the smaller garden birds but the crows are muscling in on the food he puts out and steadily growing in number. At the moment they are just using our tall trees in the wood to perch on when they are circling overhead but I am a bit worried about them starting to nest there and take up residence. One of the villages not too far from here suffer with a rather large nesting crow colony and the continual noise they make gets to quite a pitch… and it goes on all day like the Chinese water torture.
I made a large pan of lentil and leek stew yesterday so there is still plenty for today’s evening meal and it means we can garden for that bit longer ……and we certainly need to….I can hear the weeds growing!
At last some good weather – though it is odd that I have to come all the way to Scotland for it.
There have been changes whilst we have been away we expected it of course as the new owner of the pub, restaurant and caravan site is continually making changes even for change sake, unfortunately, most of them involve planning or licensing applications and he has obviously not applied for any otherwise we would have received notification of them in case we wanted to object. It appears he has no time to abide by any rules.
The last few days have been so nice we had breakfast and then went straight out into the garden…..whilst the sun shines, make….. full use of it!
I usually start by going over this little border outside our garden gate that runs along by the upper part of the lane. I removed a rather large overgrown clump of wild yellow irises to make way for some ground covering plants like geranium and valerian. The hollies, which are all self-seeded and then transplanted, are doing well now and filling out quite nicely – I don’t want huge trees but will keep them pruned to a nice rounded shrub sized plant. It is so easy at this time of year to dig up some of the dormant plants along with the weeds so I have to take extra care. DH tackled the Rosa rugosa hedge that runs down along the lane side from the gate – the one that the new owner of the pub and caravan site massacred a couple of years ago – luckily it is hard to kill and has regenerated quite nicely but we always make sure nothing is growing out into the lane so he doesn’t feel he has the need to chop it down again.
We had a rest day yesterday to protect our backs or else we will get little else done for the week. Instead I used the time to stay indoors and do a little more planning and some digital detox on my computer.
Of course it was too much to hope that mum would be OK during the time both me and my sister are away and we wouldn’t have a crisis on our hands. It was only a small drama really but to her a major crisis and I wasn’t able to help very much only be on the other end of the phone. It happened on Sunday evening. She was waiting for her carers to go and put her to bed. Her time slot is for 6pm, their previous visit ends at 4 pm so before they put her to bed for the night they usually make her some toast for her tea/supper and a final hot drink. At 6.45pm she rang me to say they had not come and she couldn’t get through to the office as the answer phone was on. She was clearly agitated as she does not like to go out of routine. She said she would ring them again to make sure someone was coming. At 7pm, 7.15pm, 7.30pm, 7.45pm, 8pm, 8.15pm, 8.30pm she rang me again and again to say they still had not shown. She had spoken to someone at the office, quite aggressively as she does now, and they said a carer was on their way but no explanation was offered as to why they were so late. Finally at 8.45pm someone arrived – of course mum was hungry, thirsty but most of all cold as she cannot switch the fire on by herself now and the flat had got quite chilly. She was also dog tired and very angry – I didn’t know whether to feel sorrier for the poor carer or my mum!
Needless to say they have been on time for the last two days.
We had a lovely walk to the village yesterday afternoon, called at the pub by the harbour for a hot chocolate and took a few photos.
We spotted quite a few new painted rocks along the low road from the village. It is lovely that anyone in the community can add to this – the idea began when one of the residents secretly placed a few painted rocks along the path one night and it has snowballed over the years to the point where the coaches heading for the Mull often stop for their passengers to get off and go and look at them.
Whilst the light was good I managed to complete the last bit of knitting on the little jacket for baby Chocolate. Try as I might to make it neat I do struggle with edges and picking up stitches but no doubt I just need more practise. Knitting patterns, I find, often leave you high and dry – I am sure for experienced knitters it is not a problem but I need more instructions. The pattern says to pick up and knit the contrasting band around the hood and then down the front of the jacket which I have done. It does not say to do both sides….not knowing if I should or not I decided I would and did in fact knit the band on both edges.
I am not sure of the weather today so have no definite plans. There is always plenty to do in the garden but we also need a trip into town for a bottle of gas and to take in a trailer full of old plasterboard from the kitchen ceiling of the cottage. Luckily, the tip here accepts rubble and stuff as not everywhere does. At home you have to get a skip even if you only have a bucketful.
I am starting to feel a litle more relaxed now and am finding the time to sort out one or two tasks off my list which has also helped – things that seem to have been on there for ever and keep getting rolled over each week – you know the ones. It is quite odd that when we are here at the cottage I think about all the jobs I need to do at home and when I am at home I have my mind on what needs doing at the cottage – well mainly in the garden. Perhaps having the distance somehow makes my mind clearer and I feel less overwhelmed. I am sure that life is getting so much busier these days and more stressful and it is not just a matter of being older. Technology was supposed to make things quicker and easier but I find just the opposite…. that you are forever in a queue on the phone or you come up against an answerphone or you get through to some voice telling you to go to their Q&A on their website (don’t they ever think that you have already done that and the answer is not there!
It’s been a while, it’s also been quite frantic here and as usual it’s been stressful and joyful in equal quantities….well almost, perhaps a little more on the stress and a little less of the joy!
I just thought I would pop by as I can’t believe it is the latter part of February already and I have only completed a few tasks on my long, long to do list. I decided that the beginning of the new year called for a major declutter in our house to regain some lost space. I intend for this mad clear out to also include the loft, shed and garage….though at the moment it is far too cold to be in any of those places for any length of time.
I am hoping it is a case of it will get worse before it gets better as the whole house is in a mess now with piles everywhere destined for charity or recycle or a friend or craft group. Hardly anything is rubbish, very little has gone in the bin – it just needs rehoming…. either at my house or hopefully someone elses.
As I go through every drawer and cupboard, every box and bookshelf I am finding that as I remove more and more I am loving the space and it is becoming much easier to part with things.
After Christmas I sorted through all the decorations before I packed them away and took a bag full down to the charity shop – I have found as time goes on I am putting out fewer and fewer decorations each year.
I did have a box full of lovely cards that friends have handmade for me over the years – I picked out the best and then photographed the remainder before putting them in the recycle. Such a shame but I can’t keep everything.
Christmas seems a long time ago now. We had a large family gathering at my sister’s house for Christmas dinner and we managed to get my mum there too though the one little step at the front door was quite a challenge for her.
The grandchildren were busy before Christmas making their traditional place name cards which were wonderfully decorated and have now gone into my keepers box with the others.
I even managed to make a few cards myself and had a bit of a production line going one day. Thank heavens for rubber stamps as they are quick and easy to use when I run out of time to do my own lino cut.
Since Christmas it hasn’t been all work and no play…. during January we celebrated Master Freddie’s 5th birthday (at one of those ear splitting play gyms with a party room) and my mum’s 98th birthday – a much quieter affair. The weekend after her birthday my sister and her husband took mum out to a posh hotel for a meal during which mum suddenly stopped eating and went unconscious at the table – her head slumped but her eyes remained wide open staring ahead and they could not get a flicker of a response from her for over 10 minutes, it was only the fact that they could detect a faint pulse that they knew she hadn’t actually died! During this time my sister got reception to call for help – they wouldn’t send an ambulance – obviously not thought urgent enough but passed her over to a 111 person who asked my sister a load of questions to establish mums condition.
Eventually, mum finally rowsed and started talking as if nothing had happened and finished her meal – she didn’t even realise anything had happened. The 111 person then ended the call as they thought she sounded OK and said they would refer her to her GP who did actually go and see her next day and take some blood tests. The results showed a blood abnormality but the GP said they would not do anything because of her age – so far she is a write off then and so far no-one knows why she went unconscious for so long!
For her birthday I bought her one of those large button TV remote controls as she was having difficulty changing the channels with the tiny buttons on hers and was always pressing the wrong thing. She had been intent on getting a new TV just to get a different remote (her mind works in a mysterious way these days) even though I told her it would not be any different to what she already had. The new remote has been wonderful – it has fewer buttons for her to press so she can’t press something she didn’t intend to and end up on the shopping channel or mute it by accident and best of all she doesn’t get it muddled up with the telephone anymore either and try to call me on it.
So far this month we have spent a good deal of time researching a new but used car for my daughter. It is unknown territory for us as we have only been used to new ones – DH had a company car and we always saved up to buy my small car outright and traded in the older one in part exchange. The big question was who do you trust …..we do not know much about cars to buy at one of these auction sites or from a private individual so we resorted to a local Kia dealer as that was the make she wanted with the 7 year warranty….or as in her case the remaining years of a 7 year warranty.
After two days of trawling websites and a spreadsheet to capture all the information we fnally found one that ticked all the boxes at Perry’s in Rotherham. It was a 2020 reg with only 11,000 miles and one owner. It looked like new with good quality Michelin tyres hardly worn. We took her and the girls down last Saturday to pick it up. It is a long story but she had only driven it for 14 minutes along the M1 northbound when we got a call from her saying mum I have broken down!!!!
It was no joke.
Whilst driving the tyre pressure sensor suddenly came on the dashboard at the same time as the rear passenger side tyre blew and went completely flat. She couldn’t even make it to the next exit to get off the motorway.
Of course she rang her breakdown company but they had failed to mention that by switching the cover from her old car to the new one there was no immediate cover and it would not kick in until the next day.
Perry’s in Rotherham could not recover the car but they gave me a number to ring for a local recovery man. Imran came to the rescue – he was so lovely and got my daughters car on his breakdown truck and off the motorway so he could swap the wheel for the emergency one in the boot – that was the first expense of £200.
The next day my daughter got the tyre examined at our local Halfords – it had a few holes in it and one still had a visible nail head embeded in it. Halfords showed her where a nail must have popped out when she was driving and had been the cause of the sudden flat. On examination it was found that the tyre had already had a repair in the past so it had to be a new one – another expense of £99 ….luckily only the one was needed as the other rear tyre was like new.
It is yet another mystery as my daughter did not notice anything on the road at the time and had only been on a normal A road before getting onto the motorway – she had not been down any rough tracks. Once my daughter is back from her holiday Perry’s are going to look in to it but as it is a punctured tyre I expect there will be no come back on them.
We are now in Scotland to rest and recover for a few days and where I can plot and plan for more space clearing when I get home. I have brought some bits and pieces to do up here along with my knitting in the hope of finishing baby Chocolates little hooded jacket.
I hope everyone is well and enjoying 2024 – many apologies to anyone coming over on the 15th for the ScrapHappy Challenge I will try my best to show something for March, and welcome to new readers – as you will have realised by now my blog posts are a bit hit and miss!
I have been quite neglectful of my little space here recently….time has just evaded me.
As much as I have wanted to write, and the intention is always there, somehow I just never found that moment….and then when I did WordPress decided it was not going to let me preview my posts. But all good now – I solved the problem before they did.
A lot has happened since my last entry and thankfully I do manage to keep my little journal going that sits by my bed and is a useful memory bank and reminder of why I am not finding the time to write here very often.
I have no doubt that followers, readers and fellow bloggers will be eager for an update just as I am when someone disappears off the scene for any length of time – and I thank those of you who have been in contact, checking I am still here and OK.
And now for the news.
Mum is home now and settled back into her little apartment. It was touch and go whether she would leave the care home or not but she decided to give it a try and in fact we found out during the arrangements that due to the possibility of requiring council funding in the future she had no option but to go back home (*see more details on this below).
She came home on 18th September and from then ’till now she has taken this long to settle in (well as much as she ever will). I do not like to speak ill of people but the social worker appointed was next to useless. One day out of the blue in August I had a phone call from her to say she was going to carry out an assessment on mum and could I be there. Well given I live 90 miles away and she arranged this assessment for 9am one morning, no I couldn’t and my sister was away on holiday too so she couldn’t attend either.
The social worker chose not to rearrange for a time convenient for us and saw mum on her own. Once again she, as the previous social worker, assessed mum as having capacity (which I always question as she cannot retain or undersatnd a lot of information). She assessed her as being able to go back home but NOT requiring 24 hour care even though she had 24 hour care in the care home and required help to get to the toilet in the night. I believe this assessment was more to do with the fact that the council will not provide or pay for 24 hour care outside of a care home if mum wasn’t able to pay her carers privately.
*The shocking side of all this, which mum’s social worker just ‘happened’ to mention and I hope anyone in our situation will take note, is that if an elderly person is assessed as not requiring 24 hour care and they themselves decide they would prefer to be in a care home which is of course 24 hour care and then they become eligible for financial help provided by the local council (once the magic figure of £23,500 of savings has been reached) then the council are not oblidged to step in and pay for your 24 hour care if you were assessed as not needing it. This is very worrying for anyone who does not have enough savings to pay their way privately.
Once the social worker had done the assessment she promptly went on annual leave for 2 weeks without putting in place a leaving date for mum and this cost us another £2,000 in care home fees for a further two weeks delay. It would have cost us over £4,000 as the care home work on a 4 week notice period but the manager decided she would waiver the 2 weeks after mum left because of the failing of the social worker to act promptly.
When the social worker came back from holiday we set a date for mum to leave (Monday 18th September) and she said she would make all the arrangements for a home care package and transport to be in place for that day – which was the following week. Luckily, I rang social services on the Thursday (four days before my mum was due to go home) for an update as I had not heard anything and found that the social worker was not only on holiday again but had done nothing towards getting my mum home. It was now urgent that something was done but social services would not supply another social worker to sort this out so I had to do all the arranging with the care agency and book transport myself with the help of the admin clerk in the social services department who stepped in and was a great help and could only apologise for the social workers lack of arrangements.
Mum now has a care agency going in four times every day as required by the social workers assessment. Her first visit is at 9am when the carer goes in to get her up, washed and dressed and on her last visit at 6pm she is put to bed – which is quite early for mum but the only time the carers had available. She has to eat her lunch around 11.30 and her evening meal around 3.30 when she has the other two visits from the carers during the day. After the last visit she spends 14 hours on her own with no one to help her until the carer appears at 9am again. During this time she cannot get a drink other than water at her bedside, if she is cold she cannot put her heating on -she can just about get herself out of bed to the commode beside her. If she falls or has an emergency she can use the call button she has around her neck. In the care home of course she had a buzzer to summon help to go to the toilet or get a drink made. It is all very sad and this is happening to elderly people up and down the country.
My sister continues to visit her on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday and cooks ready meals for her feezer, does all the washing and cleans throughout the flat. She works full time and has to do her work in the evening on the days she visits in the week. I ring mum every night and visit as often as we can to help my sister and ease mum’s boredom but she is definitely getting worse with her memory and her anxiety levels become so high when my sister is away that she often won’t get up and says she feels ‘off colour’ so the carers will leave her in bed as she feels safer in bed when my sister is away.
Mum pays for her care privately at the moment as she has savings above the £23,500 magic threshold – it costs her almost £800 for the week. Yes you read this correctly! Plus she has all her bills and food on top and the service charge for the apartment and council tax. The care home in comparison was £1090 a week but it was all inclusive and it was one of the cheaper places around Yarm – most of them are about £1,300 to £1,500 per week and this is only if you do not require specialist nursing care or have dementia.
If the local council do have to help with the fees their contribution is of course capped, so if you choose a more expensive place then relatives are expected to put in the additional money called a topup.
My advice is not only to start saving now for your old age but to keep fit and healthy so you can look after yourself as long as possible!!
Our life of course is not all about mum and we have had little snippets of time to take our new baby Chocolate to the park once or twice and we had a free admission day to the National Trust property at Dunham Massey.
During the school holidays we all went to see a local Halloween pantomime called the Haunted House put on by a group of amateur dramatics in the next village. It was exceptionally good – though my back was exceptionally bad and has been recently with a lot of travelling up and down to North Yorkshire to see mum. After the panto we all came back to my house for a buffet tea and the grandchildren had spent the morning making (what has now become a bit of a tradition here) place name cards – in the theme of Halloween.
Granny was a pumpkin.
We had another invasion two weeks later when everyone decended upon us again to celebrate Sweetie’s 5th birthday. She is quite taken with Hello Kitty and my SIL manage to find some stationery from the Hello Kitty era when her girls were young. We made chocolate buns with Hello Kitty toppers and of course more named place cards.
On a cold Saturday evening in November we had a little adventure with master Freddie and baby Chocolate (who slept through the whole event) in Cliffe Woods at Clayton West a village near Denby Dale (of the pie fame and not too far away from us). The event was named ‘Light up the Woods’ – a firework free zone – a trail through woodland that was alight with a wonderful display of recycled rubbish made by local groups and school children.
Since then I have been busy crafting and other such delights and all being well I should be able to give you a glimpse of my ‘efforts’ in the next few days.
Hoping you are all well – I can see most of you are happily blogging away and I am slowly catching up and you may even get a comment or two.
where the journey takes me 2 