Category: plEAsurable

lovely events

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dear diary ~ finding my way back

I have been quite neglectful of my little space here recently….time has just evaded me.

As much as I have wanted to write, and the intention is always there, somehow I just never found that moment….and then when I did WordPress decided it was not going to let me preview my posts. But all good now – I solved the problem before they did.

A lot has happened since my last entry and thankfully I do manage to keep my little journal going that sits by my bed and is a useful memory bank and reminder of why I am not finding the time to write here very often.

I have no doubt that followers, readers and fellow bloggers will be eager for an update just as I am when someone disappears off the scene for any length of time – and I thank those of you who have been in contact, checking I am still here and OK.

And now for the news.

Mum is home now and settled back into her little apartment. It was touch and go whether she would leave the care home or not but she decided to give it a try and in fact we found out during the arrangements that due to the possibility of requiring council funding in the future she had no option but to go back home (*see more details on this below).

She came home on 18th September and from then ’till now she has taken this long to settle in (well as much as she ever will). I do not like to speak ill of people but the social worker appointed was next to useless. One day out of the blue in August I had a phone call from her to say she was going to carry out an assessment on mum and could I be there. Well given I live 90 miles away and she arranged this assessment for 9am one morning, no I couldn’t and my sister was away on holiday too so she couldn’t attend either.

The social worker chose not to rearrange for a time convenient for us and saw mum on her own. Once again she, as the previous social worker, assessed mum as having capacity (which I always question as she cannot retain or undersatnd a lot of information). She assessed her as being able to go back home but NOT requiring 24 hour care even though she had 24 hour care in the care home and required help to get to the toilet in the night. I believe this assessment was more to do with the fact that the council will not provide or pay for 24 hour care outside of a care home if mum wasn’t able to pay her carers privately.

*The shocking side of all this, which mum’s social worker just ‘happened’ to mention and I hope anyone in our situation will take note, is that if an elderly person is assessed as not requiring 24 hour care and they themselves decide they would prefer to be in a care home which is of course 24 hour care and then they become eligible for financial help provided by the local council (once the magic figure of £23,500 of savings has been reached) then the council are not oblidged to step in and pay for your 24 hour care if you were assessed as not needing it. This is very worrying for anyone who does not have enough savings to pay their way privately.

Once the social worker had done the assessment she promptly went on annual leave for 2 weeks without putting in place a leaving date for mum and this cost us another £2,000 in care home fees for a further two weeks delay. It would have cost us over £4,000 as the care home work on a 4 week notice period but the manager decided she would waiver the 2 weeks after mum left because of the failing of the social worker to act promptly.

When the social worker came back from holiday we set a date for mum to leave (Monday 18th September) and she said she would make all the arrangements for a home care package and transport to be in place for that day – which was the following week. Luckily, I rang social services on the Thursday (four days before my mum was due to go home) for an update as I had not heard anything and found that the social worker was not only on holiday again but had done nothing towards getting my mum home. It was now urgent that something was done but social services would not supply another social worker to sort this out so I had to do all the arranging with the care agency and book transport myself with the help of the admin clerk in the social services department who stepped in and was a great help and could only apologise for the social workers lack of arrangements.

Mum now has a care agency going in four times every day as required by the social workers assessment. Her first visit is at 9am when the carer goes in to get her up, washed and dressed and on her last visit at 6pm she is put to bed – which is quite early for mum but the only time the carers had available. She has to eat her lunch around 11.30 and her evening meal around 3.30 when she has the other two visits from the carers during the day. After the last visit she spends 14 hours on her own with no one to help her until the carer appears at 9am again. During this time she cannot get a drink other than water at her bedside, if she is cold she cannot put her heating on -she can just about get herself out of bed to the commode beside her. If she falls or has an emergency she can use the call button she has around her neck. In the care home of course she had a buzzer to summon help to go to the toilet or get a drink made. It is all very sad and this is happening to elderly people up and down the country.

My sister continues to visit her on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday and cooks ready meals for her feezer, does all the washing and cleans throughout the flat. She works full time and has to do her work in the evening on the days she visits in the week. I ring mum every night and visit as often as we can to help my sister and ease mum’s boredom but she is definitely getting worse with her memory and her anxiety levels become so high when my sister is away that she often won’t get up and says she feels ‘off colour’ so the carers will leave her in bed as she feels safer in bed when my sister is away.

Mum pays for her care privately at the moment as she has savings above the £23,500 magic threshold – it costs her almost £800 for the week. Yes you read this correctly! Plus she has all her bills and food on top and the service charge for the apartment and council tax. The care home in comparison was £1090 a week but it was all inclusive and it was one of the cheaper places around Yarm – most of them are about £1,300 to £1,500 per week and this is only if you do not require specialist nursing care or have dementia.

If the local council do have to help with the fees their contribution is of course capped, so if you choose a more expensive place then relatives are expected to put in the additional money called a topup.

My advice is not only to start saving now for your old age but to keep fit and healthy so you can look after yourself as long as possible!!

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Our life of course is not all about mum and we have had little snippets of time to take our new baby Chocolate to the park once or twice and we had a free admission day to the National Trust property at Dunham Massey.

During the school holidays we all went to see a local Halloween pantomime called the Haunted House put on by a group of amateur dramatics in the next village. It was exceptionally good – though my back was exceptionally bad and has been recently with a lot of travelling up and down to North Yorkshire to see mum. After the panto we all came back to my house for a buffet tea and the grandchildren had spent the morning making (what has now become a bit of a tradition here) place name cards – in the theme of Halloween.

Granny was a pumpkin.

We had another invasion two weeks later when everyone decended upon us again to celebrate Sweetie’s 5th birthday. She is quite taken with Hello Kitty and my SIL manage to find some stationery from the Hello Kitty era when her girls were young. We made chocolate buns with Hello Kitty toppers and of course more named place cards.

On a cold Saturday evening in November we had a little adventure with master Freddie and baby Chocolate (who slept through the whole event) in Cliffe Woods at Clayton West a village near Denby Dale (of the pie fame and not too far away from us). The event was named ‘Light up the Woods’ – a firework free zone – a trail through woodland that was alight with a wonderful display of recycled rubbish made by local groups and school children.

Since then I have been busy crafting and other such delights and all being well I should be able to give you a glimpse of my ‘efforts’ in the next few days.

Hoping you are all well – I can see most of you are happily blogging away and I am slowly catching up and you may even get a comment or two.

Until next time ……xx

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dear diary ~ the ups and downs of life

Just thought I would drop by and say hi….it has been awhile I know but there are reasons for that which I will explain as we go along. Due to time constraints this is a post that has been written on different days, in different places over the last month or so and I hope today I will press that publish button!

The first instalment written in Scotland in the middle of June as we escaped for a few days break.

What a glorious summer, though a little more rain would not go amiss. Most years I wait eagerly for May and June to come along and then they are quite over before I feel they have even begun.

I am sitting here in a shady part of the garden in Scotland relaxing as I write this post with a glass of cool ginger beer watching the sand martins busily darting here and there, the sea is a deep azure colour with gentle surface ripples rather than waves and it feels like paradise could not be much better than this.

There is a down side to all this perfection of course and a reason I have not been posting for over a month – life here has taken a bit of a down turn –  though in and amongst, as in most cases, there have been moments of sheer joy.

So perhaps the good news first….

….starting with the birth of our new grandson on the 21st May and the celebration of DH’s 70th birthday on the 25th.

May birthdays, I always think, are special – midway between spring and summer with prolonged warm days, longer lighter nights and gardens that are in full bloom. What could be more wonderful and uplifting?

It has been a long process deciding on a name for the new baby and for the purpose of my blog I will be referring to him by the preferred name of Master Freddie, his older brother, as ‘baby Chocolate’ (and before you ask I have no idea where that came from but it goes well with our second granddaughter’s pet name Sweetie chosen by her big sister Little L).  Both mum and baby are doing well and managing the challenges that come up daily when you have a pre-schooler to look after at the same time.

To mark DH’s birthday we spent the day at York Garden in Adel on the outskirts of Leeds.

With the birth of the baby originally scheduled for the 24th I had not been able to book a weekend away or organise a large party for him with friends so a day out to a place of his choice seemed the next best thing. As a birthday treat we decided we would eat lunch at their cafe rather than packing up a picnic as we would normally do these days.

However, like all good plans things often don’t work out.  We arrived at the garden at midday, paid our entrance fee and just as we approached the cafe door a lady barred our way and said ‘sorry the cafe had to close for the day due to unforeseen circumstances (technical issues) beyond their control’. So back to reception to ask where we might get something to eat and would they let us back in without paying again. Following their directions we drove up the road to Golden Acre Park where we were told we would find the council run cafe. It was basic and not quite what I had in mind for a special birthday treat but it did the trick and after a plate of sandwiches and a drink of tea we went back again to the gardens and spent a lovely afternoon wandering around taking lots of pictures and gathering plenty of ideas to try in my own.

A day or two later on the following Bank Holiday weekend our younger daughter came to stay with Little L and Sweetie and we prepared a simple tea party to celebrate DH’s birthday and the birth of the new baby with the family. 

The grandchildren helped me prepare the party during Saturday for Sunday. They decided on a Spaceman theme for grandad! They had great fun colouring in some new place cards and party food labels using some space themed templates I printed from the internet and whilst they were occupied I set to and made some cheesey leek ramekins ready to bake later in the oven.

Everyone lent a hand in preparing a simple buffet of sandwiches and salads to go with the ramekins, and for afters nothing beats strawberries and fresh cream with jelly for the little ones.

And no birthday would be complete without a cake – a lovely summery fresh cream and strawberry sponge made and decorated by the children specially for their grandad.

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And that was were the fun ended and the next few weeks of total chaos began.

I am now completing this post while staying in my mum’s flat near Yarm in North Yorkshire. She is not here at present as she unfortunately fell on her back in her kitchen the day before all our celebrations but we were told by the doctor and district nurses that she was OK – it later transpired that she wasn’t and is presently in a care home after a two week hospital stay. Hopefully, the care home is not for good, but as yet we don’t know.

It is hard for me to write this as I feel very let down by the whole NHS system – it is not just broken it is in a complete mess and so frustrating to get any honest information from anyone. This is nothing to do with the nursing staff – some of whom have been marvellous (and one we will be nominating for an award) although there have been a few along the way where delivering care to the patient is not foremost in their duties.

Sitting for hours with mum on the ward it was hard not to overhear the discussions by the staff over their patients. The lady in the next bed to mum was actually diabetic – the nursing staff did not realise until she was being prepared for discharge. She had been in there 5 days and in all that time her levels had not been taken. She had respiritory problems and was permanently on oxygen but the hospital staff then found they had been giving her double what she should have! My mum was in for almost 2 weeks and came out with a pressure sore but this was not documented on the hospital discharge letter, (but noticed by the care home staff on arrival at the home), and she had not been transferred to a pressure mattress to alleviate it. On the first night of admittance to the emergency assesment ward at about 11pm after being in A&E since 4pm the porter had to make the bed for her, there was no pillow and I had to use my folded coat until he managed to find a blanket as a temporary substitute – no nurse came to introduce herself and no one asked if she had been given a drink or any food and we had to leave her like that. In the morning when we went back a pillow had been found (just the one as they are apparently short on pillows) and at meal times there were not enough forks so the patients had to use their pudding spoons. I will not even comment on this!!

In all, over 5 days after the fall my mum had six attendances at home from paramedics and health professionals responding to my 111 calls and the telephone assessments and all of them attending her had differing opinions. She was taken to A&E twice – released the first time and hospitalised on the second. The initial x-ray showed no break and her hip fracture was only picked up on a scan on the second admittance to hospital (the pain she was in being totally disregarded). In fact the very first call I made to 111 prompted a home visit from a ‘medical professional’ and after his examination and assessment diagnosed a hip fracture but this was never taken seriously by the variety of medics, doctors and therapist who saw her after this.

She is, as many readers will know, 97 – she is in pain, she is confused
(though doesn’t have dementia) and she has no idea what is happening or going
to happen and to be fair neither do we. There are so many people involved –
district nurses, care workers, community therapists, social workers and so much
jargon. She has had endless assesments over and over and for what we have no
idea either. And at the end of it all everything comes down to funding – or
lack of it….but part of the problem is that they waste so much money.

On top of all this my mum is not an easy person and is convinced that she
must lie completely still in bed for her hip to mend but the reality is she
needs to keep moving and do exercises to keep her muscle strength but she won’t
engage with the physiotherapists and keeps sending them away saying she is in
too much pain, too tired, too hot, too cold …..

The care staff are not allowed to get her up and out of bed as this is only
done by the physios but so far they have only managed to get her sat on the
edge of the bed….once! Her 4 week NHS funding for this assessment/ rehab bed
ends next week, the physio involvement will diminish considerably if she
doesn’t co-operate and it is looking like she will be permanently in a care
home and bed ridden for the rest of her life. To say I am frustrated is a bit
of an understatement and I am now at a loss as to how I can motivate my mum to
help herself.

All I can say is never be ill and end up in hospital!

10.07.23 – Further update

It has been a long 6 weeks now and I am totally exhausted spending a few days in North Yorkshire then a few days at home and grabbing bits of time to help my daughter out with the new baby by having Freddie for the day. Last Tuesday Mum was assessed again by the social worker as needing a further short term placement at the care home – for which she will now pay privately as NHS funding stopped after 4 weeks. Her room is well over £1000 a week and we still have to pay the service charge on her flat as well as a retainer for her home carers until she can go home or goes into permanent care. Before the new government rules applied (where long term patients in hospital are now transferred into care homes) her hospital stay would have been covered under the NHS.

We have had a small break through and at last they have got her moving just a little and she managed to sit in a chair for a short time this week but is not allowed in a wheelchair yet. She has had a urine infection this last week which has caused paranoia and delerium (which is not a nice condition for patient or relatives), mum was ringing me constantly on the phone from 8pm to after midnight because she couldn’t find her buzzer to alert the staff. It was just by her hand but with her confusion could not recognise it. At least that is under control now but she has been told she rings for the staff far too much and is very needy (thats my mum!).

We are at home for a few days now catching up with household things here but we did have a day out to ourselves last Saturday and went down into Derbyshire to the Open Gardens in the village of Eyam. A very interesting place and hopefully if time allows I will share a few photos in my next post.

Thank you to those readers who have been concerned about the long gap and have contacted me and welcome to my new readers who have signed up during my absence and I apologise for the rant and negativity that you will have found in this post – normal
service will resume soon I hope.

Sorry about the wierd spacing near the end of the post something happened when I tried to save it and I don’t have the energy at the moment to alter it!

And to all the bloggers I usually connect with and have not, as yet, caught
up with I hope you are all well and will be hearing from me soon. x

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feasting ~ the Coronation celebration

Did your Coronation day go well?

Our Saturday morning began much like any other but an hour earlier than usual as we had to prepare for little Freddie coming at 9am. Once he steps over our threshold it is full on as he whizzes around from one game to another….and we try to keep up. Never having had a boy of my own I am not used to playing at diggers and Paw Patrol and I feel much more at home when he turns his attentions to the Sindy kitchen cafe that we still have from the 80’s that my two girls played with.

Being an important day, like Christmas and Easter day, I refrained from doing any washing – not that I haven’t still got a few loads to do from our Scotland visit but I do like to keep some days sacred. It doesn’t bother me that other people do theirs but I do like to keep the weekend free of those kind of chores if I can – it makes it more special like a Sunday dinner.

As we played the Peppa Pig Monolpoly game for the umpteenth time this year (it is a big favourite and well worth the £8 I paid at Christmas to amuse all the grandchildren) we had the TV on to try and see some of the Coronation – what a shame about the rain – it was dry outside here. I love the whole pageantry and spectacle and enjoyed the bits I saw – it was so British and for some a once in a life time event – it is what we do well – I would have been terrified myself on show with the whole world looking on. I am sure Charles will be good king – I hope he gets chance to continue with his favourite pastimes of gardening and painting now his role will be much more demanding. Kate as always looked so natural and poised as if she had been born into the role.

I did manage at last to get the seeds sown the day before – now fingers crossed they germinate quickly. I have trays of cosmos and zinnias in different varieties and also calendula and petunia and I started off the courgettes and basil. I never have much luck with the basil but you never know.

Just before lunch the sun came out and Freddie and I went into the garden – whilst I checked and watered the seed trays he watered the outdoor tubs with a little watering can (not that they needed water but he does like to be helpful). The garden is looking much more passable now but there is still more than a few afternoon’s work to be done – but that will be another time.

After lunch and the Royal Family had made their appearance on the balcony we had a walk to the village and that is when it did rain here and we had to shelter in the local Co-op with our ice-creams until the worst had passed.

Once home DH entertained Freddie whilst I made the filling for the individual quiche bases I had baked blind the day before and popped them in the oven. I sprinkled the top with a little parmesan cheese and added half a cherry tomato for colour. (Neither were in the recipe)

We then decorated the tray bake sponge cake I had also baked previously. I can’t think of any child that doesn’t like to bake and decorate and Freddie did his half with chocolate and sprinkles and much serious concentration whilst I spread the cherry curd on the top of mine and then coated this with coconut. The cherry curd is quite tart which I prefer to using jam and goes so well with the sweetness of the coconut.

I had decided against making a trifle or any scones in the end and instead made a simple fresh fruit salad – well DH did all the chopping – both green and black grapes, oranges, apple and strawberries.

Meanwhile, Freddie helped me lay the table and we went out to gather a few fresh flowers from the garden for the little jug – he chose forget me nots, wallflower, grape hyacinths and some dandelions and then arranged them to his satisfaction! All I did was cut some of the long stalks down.

He carried all the dishes of salads to the table and then suddenly remembered that when we had the Easter family tea he had made little place cards with his cousins Little L and Sweetie and wanted to make some more – there was no time to make new ones but luckily I had kept the ones they had made at Easter so he was happy to use those. So we had an Easter Coronation table but Freddie was happy with that!!

Finally, mummy and daddy arrived and we all sat down to tea and admired his handiwork. We all agreed the individual Coronation quiches were delicious, I served them with shredded little gem lettuce, homemade coleslaw, beetroot, cherry tomatoes and new potatoes topped with butter. I will definitely be making the recipe again – as you know I substituted watercress in place of the spinach and added a few chopped spring onions. The tarragon flavour certainly came through and wasn’t overpowering -I didn’t have fresh which might have been better so I was careful not to go overboard with the dried.

After mummy and daddy and a very tired little Freddie had gone home we just collapsed on the sofa and watched a few of the highlights of the procession that we had missed. I did wonder if behind the palace facade last night when the media presence had all packed up and gone if the Royals were all having a really good knees up and letting their hair down.

Today we will be recovering and if the weather holds going for a walk.

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creating Christmas * day 1

December 1st – the day my Christmas preparations begin. It will be a simple Christmas for us this year but already most days on my calendar up to the 25th are spoken for….not sure how that happened!

I have started my Christmas countdown, not with an advent calendar – (we are sparse on those here this year – so I will find my little homemade one from years ago to put out on the mantelpiece), but with a Christmas treat – a day out. We actually went yesterday because we had a free entry voucher and it was the last day to use it. Many of the properties are closed now for the winter season but we found that Quarry Bank Mill in Styal, Cheshire was still open and not too far away.

We took homemade mushroom soup in a flask with chunks of bread and cheese. It was a very cold day so this made a good warming start to the visit. It is a fascinating place showcasing what life was like for the cotton mill workers in contrast to the affluent mill owner and his family. Styal village cottages were built for the mill workers and are still lived in today. The family home was originally a holiday home that they then lived in full time when the mill was built next to it. The complex is in a wonderful setting and quite different to many of the mills set up in grimy Manchester at that time.

The family were Unitarian so the house itself was very plain and simple compared to most National Trust houses where wealth is most certainly on display. I just adored this beautiful little writing desk.

We spent a pleasurable four hours there wandering around the house, the mill, the gardens and the village and afterwards dived into the cafe to warm up with a large cup of hot chocolate. As they close quite early we had to skip the Apprentice House but we have been round there before – I remember it was very bleak and cold inside and was set up to house orphaned children that worked in the mill and many ran away.

As we had a free entry voucher it seemed only right to donate something by buying a few things from the National Trust shop. It was hard to decide on just what as there were some lovely things on sale. In the end I chose a pack of National Trust Christmas cards and two fat quarters of the cotton fabric woven at the mill and printed locally. I intend to make a Christmas stocking with it – maybe not this year – time is feeling a bit on the short side already.

On our way home we called at John Lewis in Cheadle to order the TV table that we had decided on. We have quite a few vouchers for John Lewis so it cost us nothing. We bought the TV quite a while ago – it was bigger than our old one and has been balancing on the IKEA children’s table we bought for the grandchildren to play on when they come. Delivery will be next week. I am trying to persuade DH to also buy the little cabinet that I saw and is part of the same range….watch this space.

Today we have to go to town to pick up a few parcels from Next. We have been invited to a party on Saturday night and I really don’t have anything to wear. We have very few dress shops in our town now so to save having a trip out to Meadowhall, our nearest shopping mall, I ordered a selection of garments online which I have never done before for myself. I am keeping my fingers crossed that something will look OK and fit.

I have a present to buy too – it is a 30th birthday and I am not sure what to get – I am hoping for some inspiration when we get into town.