Tag: Everyday life

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dear diary ~ if it’s not one thing….

….it’s my mother, as DH and I often say when things happen.

And things are happening almost daily now with mum. She gets an idea in her head and can’t let go of it; we tell her the real version and within a few minutes she is telling us again of her rather skewed account.

Mum has not been eating much of her evening meals lately that my sister makes and puts in her freezer for her. The carer always ask her in the morning what she would like for tea and takes it out of the freezer to reheat at the 3 o’clock visit. She has been wasting quite a few meals recently having them heated up but then not eating them but opting to eat more cake and sandwiches instead and like last weekend asking for a Weetabix once the meal had been cooked which is quite wasteful. Needless to say my sister is not impressed after spending time cooking and providing meals for her. Anyway the long and short of this was a week of phone calls to me with mum accusing a carer of telling my sister she was eating Weetabix instead of her meal to cause trouble, which was not the case.

That was last week, and now she seems to have let go of that and developed a new, equally bizarre story this week with mum telling me she hopes she doesn’t have a Christmas like last year…it was the worst Christmas she has ever had! She sobs every time she tells me as she thinks, again mistakenly, that when she went to my sister’s on Christmas day last year (as she does every year), that my sister was ill in bed and her husband ‘had to do the best he could’ to feed and entertain her. She then reckons that no-one went to see her on Boxing day and she was left on her own. Well actually, my sister was not ill at all on Christmas day – it was a normal Christmas and we went up to see my mum on Boxing Day and spent the whole day with her until about 6pm when the carer came to help her to bed. So where she has got these ideas from I do not know.

There has been a noticeable decline in her mental state recently and for the last two weeks she has just begun to ring me at night after the last carer leaves at 7 o’clock after helping her to bed. She keeps ringing mainly to test her phone is working over and over like someone checking their door is locked. The most comical is when she rings me to help her over the phone to try and get a program on the TV. I tell her over and over the number of the channel and the time of the program until she finally brings it up on the telly (I can hear down the phone if she has got the correct one). Then everyday she will say to me I couldn’t get Vera on last night there must be something wrong with my TV! Sometimes you just lose the will….

It is hard to appreciate just how much her brain and thinking is so muddled now and full of absurd things, mixed with anxiety and paranoia. Dementia is a terrible affliction and difficult for those around her dealing with it, she often leaves us all exasperated.

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In between I have been busy though; both helping elder daughter with her epic move of the century and crafting for the Crisis coffee morning at church which helps to raise money for the homeless, we also spent an enjoyable morning at a lino cutting workshop I had booked for DH and I, carving out a lino cut design for my Christmas card this year.

It felt good to do something just for ourselves.

I had little time to produce something for the craft stall; I had been making some pomanders in the evening and using the transfers I got from The Works I decorated some small candles. So it was a start.

I also printed out and hand coloured the original snowdrop design I had made for the lino cutting session to make some new cards.

My idea was to assemble a few Christmassy items together and pop them into a box that could then be given as a gift to a friend. Each box to contain a homemade pomander, 2 small decorated candles, a pack of 4 handmade cards, 4 gift tags, 2 Christmas chocolates and a tiny Angel, (well everyone needs an Angel at Christmas) from a garland I happened to have.

Many long time readers might remember the little boxes I made for a previous Crisis event in 2023. If you want to see more of these click here.

….and I decided to carry on the theme again this time but not having any suitable boxes I used some rather lovely little handmade Indian paper bags I found in Homesense.

The pomanders and candles I wrapped in some Christmas tissue and slipped the cards into a cellophane wrapper.

A picture of the contents was placed in the bag so everyone could see what was included.

I called them ‘A little bag of Christmas’ and I am told had I done more they could have sold more.

Must go now, my evening meal awaits and I won’t be asking for a Weetabix instead!

Hope you all have a lovely week…thank you for reading…I will be back soon. x

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dear diary ~ a moment….ous week

Not only was it Remembrance Day yesterday but it has been a week filled with both sad and happy moments.

Last Tuesday my friend K could not come shopping with us as she was expecting a visit from her daughter. I was a bit disappointed as we look forward to her company but we agreed to catch up later in the week for a chat. We almost overstayed our welcome in Sainsbury’s carpark as you only get two hours and I was having a good browse in all the various sections including the clothes and looking out for any Nectar bargains. It was mid afternoon when we got back home and we had just eaten our lunch and put all the shopping away when a little after 4pm we had a phone call from K’s daughter to say she had been rushed into hospital. K was diagnosed with a terminal illness in October of last year and we all knew her time was limited, but somehow she managed to keep going and always keep smiling.

We went up to the hospital to see her straight away and then visited a couple of times through the week but she was mostly asleep or very drowsy, then on the Thursday teatime when we bobbed in to see her after my audiology appointment, she was raised up in her bed enjoying a cup of tea. We had a lovely little chat for a short time and then came away so as not to tire her out. I didn’t know then but this would be the last time we would have together… and I will cherish those moments. On the Friday morning K became unresponsive and eventually slipped away peacefully on Monday.

Although we had an age gap of almost 20 years, K was a dear and special friend who I met almost by accident when I gave a lift one freezing winter’s morning many years ago to her neighbour Bernard. It is a story I have told before on my blog. Bernard became my Tuesday and Thursday morning companion as I drove into work until he became ill and was taken into hospital. That evening I had a call from K his neighbour saying Bernard was asking that I should go and visit him and had passed my phone number to her. We alternated our visits as his family lived away and each evening K and I would speak on the phone to report on progress. After 2 weeks Bernard passed away but K and I continued to phone each other and eventually met at Bernard’s funeral. Our relationship continued and blossomed and we found we liked the same things especially the area of Scotland where our cottage was located. K and her partner often came on holiday to the area around Stranraer and we would meet up if we were at the cottage at the same time.

When I see the poppies now I will always remember our last moments together but I know our Tuesday shopping day will never feel quite the same without the cup of tea and a chat we had afterwards when we took her back home.

The weekend was another busy one for us.

On the Saturday we were determined to fit something in for ourselves and we chose the Sheffield Print Fair at the Millenium Gallery. As I was born in Sheffield near the Wednesday ground I love to go back and now the city centre is vibrant once again after the loss of Debenhams and John Lewis and a certain amount of regeneration and rebuilding has been occurring over the last few years. The planners I think are doing a good job, preserving some of the old historic buildings amongst the new and providing plenty of lush planting and seating around to soften the harshness of these concrete cities.

The print fair was packed and we thoroughly enjoyed browsing the stalls of some very talented young (and older) print designers. There was every kind of printing method on show but I am always drawn to the linocuts and silk screen prints rather than the polished digital artwork.

Afterwards, we had a mooch around the centre. It has been a while since we were last there and a lot of the demolition sites are now showing off the new and restored buildings. It is something I like about Sheffield that they try to keep and cherish old buildings and they sit side by side with the new.

This block housed an old fashioned jeweller in the corner shop; in the upstairs windows you could see them at work with the machinery on old wooden benches. The end of the run was obviously past restoration but they have added a new section to compliment the terrace.

They also flaunt madly the fact that the city grew on steel manufacturing and many of the structures around the centre are made of it. Because of the steel industry Sheffield was hit hard in the blitz and most of the town centre was demolished by bombs and needed a complete rebuild. Nearly everyone had a relative affected by the blitz in one way or another. My grandma had her windows blown out a few times, but was luckier than the people in the next street along whose house had a direct hit.

It is a leafy city as well – had I had the time I would have been picking up some of these leaves to press.

We walked down the Moor to Atkinsons, the family run department store, where this plaque is permanently displayed in the entrance. They are doing well to survive in this retail climate and it is such a comforting department store as it hardly ever changes, just a little updating every so often; enough to keep up with the trends but not huge changes and revamps like John Lewis.

On Sunday it was Sweetie’s 7th birthday – oh the joy and excitement of being seven. We travelled up to north Yorkshire to help at her pottery painting party that she had with a few friends and afterwards she had a second family party at her home and a mammoth present opening session.

This meant two cakes, though at the friends party we just gave out a cupcake each (far less mess than cake cutting).

She struggled at times to read some of the messages in her friends cards!

….but was overjoyed at the presents….

….and she declared the day her best birthday so far.

Meanwhile, this week I was set the task (I don’t even remember volunteering for this) of organising a celebration for my mum when she turns 100 in January. It will be a small group of us as she has outlived many of the family members. We have decided on a private dining space in a local restaurant and will probably opt for the Sunday lunch. Their menu is quite extensive and they even have fish and chips (which I think mum might like) and luckily for us a nut roast. I think there will be something for everyone’s tastes. I just hope the weather is not against us and that no-one falls ill with colds or Covid, especially not my mum! It would be so annoying to wait a hundred years for this special day and then not be able to celebrate it.

I am making sure our vitamin C quota is kept high in the hope the dreaded lurgy in one form or another passes us by and it is a delight to go into my pantry at the moment, the colours are a wonderful sight.

I have bought all the ingredients now for my usual favourite ‘organic’ Christmas cake recipe and managed to get a smaller pack of white icing from Hobbycraft as I only ever cover the top. I am all set to make it the Sunday after next if I remember to soak the fruit on the Friday.

I have also sorted the Christmas Eve Santa pyjamas for the 4 grandchildren, red tartan for the girls and white for the boys, their mum’s choice. I nearly ended up with all the colours in all the sizes and stripped Sainsbury’s bare. Now the respective mum’s have decided on the right sizes I can return the surplus and Sainsbury’s can re-stock!

I also have my eye on these.

I don’t think I have anymore tales to tell of the last week. This week I need to finish the mountain of ironing that has accumulated and sketch out some ideas for the linocutting workshop DH and I are booked onto on the 19th November, only a week away.

After finishing my last 3 tasks I didn’t have chance last week with the hospital visits to do more but I have more or less decided on the next three.

  • Plant the bulbs and small mixed shrub selection I bought a while ago in pots or the garden.
  • Drop off the items we have for the auction at the Crisis charity coffee morning at church.
  • Trim the berberis

Have a great week and thank you for all your comments…so sorry I never got to answer some of them – normal service might resume soon.

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dear diary ~ November…really….so soon?

I was just enjoying October too.

In October I felt like I had ample time to prepare for the upcoming event, which I think is OK to mention by name now and unlikely to offend.

I have one month to get a grip…. get organised, get baking, making, crafting…..go shopping and go shopping again for the items I dithered over, forgot or just couldn’t find.

I plan (in my mind at least) to get everything done in November so we have a calm, ordered December. I already know it won’t be – I don’t even know what we are doing or where we will be going this Christmas. Most of our family plans have to revolve around mum. In the years since her mobility is almost zero she has Christmas at my sister’s house (as she lives the closest to her) and most years the wider family of about eleven join her, but this makes it a big catering problem for her if we all descend.

With many of the family moving house or still to move or still to sort boxes from moving I am not sure what the Christmas arrangements might be. So until we know more I will turn my attentions to the things I want to make.

I have made a start. I bought a few crafting bits and pieces from Boyes at the weekend that I will might (possibly) turn into something for the Crisis charity craft stall in 3 weeks time. I picked up this printed card for free out of their cardboard packaging recycle bin. It seemed too good to throw out, though the shelf stacker did think me odd asking if I could take it! I am sure it will be useful for something.

Now Halloween is out of the way I can really concentrate on all the ideas I have had for making cards and gifts for Christmas, though the extent of my ideas will be more than I have time to make them.

Trick or Treat night went down well – I made some little treat bags to hand out to the early birds and thankfully we had just handed out the last of them before we had to rush off to see the murder mystery play I had booked for at a local village hall – A Prescription for Murder. The play was excellent and we were kept guessing all the way through to the end. Of course we knew there would be a twist but you never quite know what.

The pumpkins and lanterns are all put away now for next year and everywhere the poppies are appearing. We were in Yarm on Saturday seeing my mum and the local knitters have excelled with lamposts and bollards covered in wonderful red poppies.

It was a beautiful dry autumn day and the sun shone (an added bonus) and always helpful when we have to push mum in the wheelchair to the park. She had her usual sandwich, chocolate muffin and cappuccino…her appetite is good for her age, she can eat more than I do. On each visit we try and solve a problem for her, the bedside lamp needed replacing recently, then the control for the electric blanket and this time it was the ‘glow’ bulbs in the electric fire that had gone. She was adamant that the fire was not on because there was no glow and I could not persuade her otherwise. Thankfully, we were able to get replacement bulbs in Yarm and fitted them for her before we left. I wonder what will need sorting next time!

This all may be a bit of a waffle tonight, it has been a full on few days with a few late nights, (tonight being one of them) when I almost turn into a pumpkin myself.

Back soon, have a good week and thank you for all your comments on the previous posts- I love to have a little chat with you. x

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dear diary ~ a creative few days…

I finally completed my 3 tasks. It took me to the Wednesday of last week.

The sewing of the greenhouse shading took far longer than I had anticipated but it is finished and packed away for next year.

There was little point in me setting another 3 tasks when the grandchildren were about to descend upon us for a few days. The next three tasks would have to wait a while.

Instead I did do a few little jobs that have been waiting my attention just to get them off my mind.

I made some more thank you labels. Currently I am selling quite a few garments on Vinted for my daughter and once wrapped in tissue I add a little thank you label. So far this year I have made almost £200….enough maybe to check if I need to pay tax to ‘Rachel from accounts’ although I am not sure my meagre contribution will solve her cash flow problem!

I also glued the little houses back together that the grandchildren made during a previous school holiday. Then I stuck them down onto a strip of card so they don’t wobble over anymore when I am dusting. Thank heavens for the glue gun inventor.

Since the grandchildren arrived last Thursday we have been busy bees …..making and baking…..and entertaining…….my house is in utter chaos….but we had great fun.

Some of it done in complete secret!

We painted the wooden Halloween train, only to find that 7 of the 19 pieces in the box were missing. We painted the scary plaster figures only to find that one of them was faulty and the base sheered away irreparably. There were tears of frustration and no amount of comforting words helped their initial disappointment.

Luckily, the missing pieces did not stop us putting the main parts of the train together…but nothing could be done for the plaster figurine even with my trusty glue gun and Sweetie had to make do by decorating the Halloween balloons instead.

The little kits were bought at The Works and I did go back and tell them and the lady did refund our money.

My advice is to check these kits as soon as you buy them.

I bought some cute autumn cupcake cases and toppers from Homesense but the children preferred more gruesome decorations on their buns!

We spent all afternoon on the Friday making a lantern from some old 5 litre water bottles for the village lantern event on the Saturday night.

The event is completely free and run by volunteers (though donations are welcomed). The lanterns are made either individually like ours or by some of the local schools, playgroups and other groups in the village. This will be the 5th year now and the first one we have been able to attend. It is such a lovely ‘feel good’ village event with everyone coming together to enjoy a very simple evening.

I had rooted out some old 5 litre water bottles from the shed…the ones I usually use as cloches in my garden….but needs must!

Being too young, Baby Chocolate was not a party to this crafternoon, but Little L, Sweetie and Master Freddie each decorated a bottle with tissue papers, which we then ‘varnished’ over with PVA craft glue to make it water resistant. Grandad assemble the three bottles into one giant lantern and threaded the string of battery lights through each one. The result was quite effective and the children were delighted at their combined efforts.

On Saturday at 3 o’clock we took our lantern down to the People’s Pleasure Grounds to be hung ready for the event later that evening. The Pleasure Grounds were created by the mill owners for the mill workers in the village for their leisure time.

It is basically a path surrounded by some very mature trees and runs alongside what was the mill stream in the valley bottom.

Across the stream is a long imposing terrace of mill houses that were built by the mill owners for their workers like the village of Saltaire. We once lived in one of these houses when we first married.

We chose a lovely dark spot and hung our lantern from the highest tree branch we could reach without a ladder. The whole place was a hive of activity as the volunteers were putting up all the other lanterns that the villagers had made.

We then rushed home to put the baked potatoes in the oven for an early tea and at 6pm prompt, when it was quite dark, we all went back to the Pleasure grounds for the start of the lantern walk event. I would say that it is about a 500 yard walk from one end to the other and it was fabulously lit by strings of homemade lanterns.

The children were so excited to see their handiwork swinging from the tree and glowing in the dark.

There were some really lovely ones – I only managed to get one or two pictures of my favourites.

We ended the trail with a hot chocolate from a catering van and some tiny chocolate brownies that I had bought from Morrisons.

And the fun didn’t stop there as on the Sunday afternoon I had booked us all into a local village Halloween pantomime – Jekyll and Hyde. It was amateur dramatics at its best and a brilliant performance…..scary and funny in equal measure. The children had front row seats and got showered with a pretend bucket of water (confetti of course) but let out shrieks of delight when they realised it wasnt! Baby Chocolate picked every piece of confetti that had landed off himself and then started on the floor. Photography was not allowed but I did manage a couple of pics of the pantomime dame and the two policeman as we left the theatre.

The grandhildren have all gone back to their respective homes now and we had a much needed day off yesterday and spent a few hours in the garden.

Today and Friday I have some little Halloween sweet bags to make up and hopefully put out the paper pumpkin lanterns in the tree outside if the weather stays fine.

And I must not forget to make up my next list of 3 project tasks to make a start on, though I won’t be able to do much until after the visit up to see my mum on Saturday.

Back soon x